In a few weeks I will be going for an ultrasound and if baby cooperates, Matt and I will find out whether we are welcoming a boy or girl in February. Of course, a lot of people have already asked me whether I have any preferences as to gender. I tell them that I'm convinced it's a girl, while my husband thinks it's a boy, and then I wind up with the standard canned response, "We'll be happy as long as it's healthy."
Having repeated this several times, I've started to stop and think about what I'm really saying. What if baby isn't healthy? I have no reason to believe he or she won't be, but then, one never knows. I went for a screening test on Monday, and while I know some Catholics have moral objections to prenatal testing, my motto is and has always been "knowledge is power." But it really got me thinking, what happens if I get back my results and something is wrong?
I thought and prayed about it some and I realized that if my baby isn't healthy, it will still be OK. I realized that nothing could change my love for my baby. I have to believe that no matter what, God brought this little life into being for some reason. God would never give me anything that He and I could not handle together. With great difficulty comes a great outpouring of grace.
So I am still praying for the blessings of health for my baby, but I will respond instead to people's questions, "We'll be happy, no matter what. This is a blessing!"