Introducing Miss L

I apologize for not posting for so long! This is our little L, born in February. :) She is almost six months old now, which is hard to believe. It would be impossible to sum up the trials and joys of our first six months with her in less than a page - so I will just say, it has been both difficult and amazing. She has a big personality for such a little baby.

I will be going back to school full-time in August. I have very mixed feelings about this. I long for the intellectual stimulation of research, but also feel sad that I won't have my baby by my side all day. We will see how it goes. I have promised my husband that I will finish out the fall semester and then decide where we should go from there. I think I owe myself and my work that much at least.

Hopefully you will see more posts from me as I get back on campus and get ready to comment on whatever the latest campus scandal happens to be ;). Motherhood has had the wonderful effect of making me oblivious to both Church and national politics. I didn't realize how much until I had some friends over and we got into a huge political discussion in which I was unusually out of my depth. (Debt ceiling? I'm more concerned about introducing solid foods.) I think I'm almost ready to jump back in to the wonderful bundle of contradictions that is the University of Notre Dame. I see from my blogroll that I haven't been the only one long absent. I hope some of you are still around and reading my musings.

Happy New Year!

Wishing a Happy New Year to all - just a little bit late! My days have been very quiet recently. I managed to wrap up the fall semester with a fair amount of success. My grades weren't exactly stellar, but I did manage solid B's, so I am officially done with the coursework portion of my degree. Now I'm at home waiting for my little one to arrive. She should be here any day now. I am a little anxious, but very excited to meet her!

Of Nobel Prizes and Playing God

The Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine was awarded today to the man who invented in vitro fertilization (IVF). I had been paying closer attention to this Nobel Prize this year because of my Advanced Cell Biology class. There was a class "contest" to see if anyone would be able to correctly predict the winner of this year's Nobel for Physiology and Medicine. Most people guessed that stem cell research of some type would win the prize.

However, it is an interesting coincidence that the prize was awarded for IVF. Why? The class I'm taking consists primarily of analysis and discussion of various scientific papers relating to important topics in cell biology. We read and discussed a number of papers on embryonic stem cells - mostly mouse embryonic stem cells, but inevitably the discussion turned to the ethics of human embryonic stem cells. During the discussion, our professor acknowledged that scientists have not done themselves favors by appearing to be "tinkering" with nature merely for the sake of tinkering. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. But he also seemed to be under the impression that opposition to HESC research was based primarily in ignorance. For instance, he stated that many HESC opponents believed that aborted fetal tissue was an HESC source. I don't know how true that is for the general population, but I don't know any educated Catholic who labors under that mistaken assumption! For my part, I'm fully aware, and have been for a long time, that HESCs are sourced from "leftover" embryos resulting from IVF, and that fact doesn't make the destruction of small humans any less a violation of the moral law.

He also made a point which I found interesting, even if I strongly disagreed with the assumption that this would be a good thing: if HESC research is able to produce a cure for a disease like diabetes, the moral opposition to the use of HESCs will eventually break down. He used IVF as an example: opposition to IVF has eroded, because who could possibly be against something that produces cute little babies and gives infertile couples their dearest wish? And thus we have a new morality in which the ends justify the means, and the Catholic Church is increasingly seen as outmoded and even cruel in its insistence that the creation of human life not be artificially divorced from the union of man and wife.

IVF is now so widely accepted that a lady at my knitting group whom I barely knew had no problem announcing to the entire group that she and her husband had just conceived a child through IVF. Her obvious excitement signaled to me that I was meant to react with squeals of delight and overflowing enthusiasm. How does a Catholic react in such a situation? I think I congratulated her briefly and excused myself to go to the ladies' room. Too much information from a total stranger, too much temptation to ask, "So how many of your leftover babies are going to stay on ice forever?" I sadly lacked the courage and wisdom to respond in a way that showed my compassion for her struggle with infertility while pointing out the moral perils of IVF. I did not wish her ill in any way whatsoever, but I did feel a profound sadness at the whole situation.

So I cannot rejoice or celebrate that IVF is being acknowledged by the Nobel Prize committee as a major scientific breakthrough. To me it was a milestone of a different kind: the point where it was no longer considered a violation of moral law to manipulate the very beginnings of human life at will and "play God." Nowadays it's a race to the bottom -- science may and should do as it pleases, ethical objections and frozen embryos be damned. These small human lives are considered merely a commodity. Please join me today in praying for an increase in respect for all human life, from conception to natural death.

ETA: Via the Irish Rover blog, a short article on a researcher who was passed over for the Prize. Many of my fellow students felt that this work on induced pluripotent stem cells would get the prize, and it's worth noting that these biology graduate students showed a great interest in and excitement about this alternative to embryonic stem cells.

"As long as it's healthy"

In a few weeks I will be going for an ultrasound and if baby cooperates, Matt and I will find out whether we are welcoming a boy or girl in February. Of course, a lot of people have already asked me whether I have any preferences as to gender. I tell them that I'm convinced it's a girl, while my husband thinks it's a boy, and then I wind up with the standard canned response, "We'll be happy as long as it's healthy."

Having repeated this several times, I've started to stop and think about what I'm really saying. What if baby isn't healthy? I have no reason to believe he or she won't be, but then, one never knows. I went for a screening test on Monday, and while I know some Catholics have moral objections to prenatal testing, my motto is and has always been "knowledge is power." But it really got me thinking, what happens if I get back my results and something is wrong?

I thought and prayed about it some and I realized that if my baby isn't healthy, it will still be OK. I realized that nothing could change my love for my baby. I have to believe that no matter what, God brought this little life into being for some reason. God would never give me anything that He and I could not handle together. With great difficulty comes a great outpouring of grace.

So I am still praying for the blessings of health for my baby, but I will respond instead to people's questions, "We'll be happy, no matter what. This is a blessing!"

An interview with Mother Dolores Hart

Here's a great interview in the National Catholic Register: Tim Drake talks to Mother Dolores Hart. What a beautiful soul she is. It was a privilege to hear her speak here at Notre Dame at this year's Edith Stein Conference.

The Truth about the Pill

Heard this story on NPR today: With Birth Control Pills, New Isn't Always Better

A 16-year old with a blood clot that could have easily killed her...this is scary stuff. And yet the makers of birth control pills would have you believe that these side effects are "rare" and that the benefits of the Pill far outweigh the risks. It's good to see that Yaz has been exposed as dangerous, but the story also obscured the fact that these side effects are common to all types of birth control pills. We women pump these artificial hormones into our bodies every day for decades and expect there to be no problems. It's unrealistic to say the least.

I was also annoyed to see that not a single doctor challenged the assumption that this 16-year old girl needed to be on the Pill. Acne and irregular periods are inconvenient, yes, but they are common problems in all teenage girls and usually go away as women move into their 20s. There are plenty of other treatments for acne, and the idea that every woman must have a 28-day cycle every month or she's "abnormal" is quite absurd. Now, conditions like severe pain during the menstrual cycle are a different story. But doctors seem unwilling to address the underlying causes when it's so much easier just to prescribe the Pill. Hopefully stories like this will make some doctors rethink that approach.

A hopeful sign: in the comments, a handful of people are actually being open about the emotional and physical side effects of the Pill instead of touting it as a panacea. I'm starting to observe a wider acceptance of NFP/FAM in secular circles, which is fantastic. There are still plenty who scoff at it, of course, but there is an increased openness to the idea of natural birth control. Finally, people are waking up to the absurdity of an approach that suggests that our bodies are inherently "broken" and that the normal functioning of our reproductive systems is something to be "fixed."

I have returned!

My apologies to my readers (all six of you!) for my extended absence. The end of the semester caught up with me, then summer rolled around and there just wasn't very much to blog about. No undergrads, no controversy du jour. However, I do love campus in the summer. It's wonderfully quiet, almost eerily so at times.

And then, there is another life change that precluded blogging. To our joy and surprise my husband and I have learned that we are going to be parents. I should say, we ARE parents, because although it's too early to feel any kicks or movement, I am as sure as I have ever been of anything that what I have inside my womb is most indeed a person. :) Building a person is hard work, though - harder than expected. I've spent most of the summer happily sitting on the couch with my feet up. Fatigue has been the major hardship - thankfully I've been spared the misery of morning sickness.

So what does this mean for me exactly? Well, at the moment, I don't have any plans to quit my Ph.D. Although I'm sure many people out there in blogland would disagree with that choice, my husband and I have decided that we have too much invested in this to give up right away. I said we because this has definitely been a joint effort. He's made a lot of sacrifices so that I could come to ND and do grad school and I will always be grateful for that. Also, somewhat selfishly, I love my job and I love what I do. My advisor is so fantastic to work with and I feel this is really a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. Then again, so is a baby!

At the same time, I do realize a baby changes things. I'm trying my best to stay open to whatever path God may show me. I keep praying, and I know that if it becomes obvious that I need to quit for the good of my family, then that's what I'll do. My husband has his job back, thankfully, which means I can afford to take a few semesters off to stay home with baby while he or she is very small. After that, we'll see how things go.

Baby will be here in February, but until then, I'll try my best to keep up with the blog and all the goings-on around campus. Blessings to all!