Seat of Wisdom

Introducing Miss L

2011-07-25T01:17:00.000-04:00

I apologize for not posting for so long! This is our little L, born in February. :) She is almost six months old now, which is hard to believe. It would be impossible to sum up the trials and joys of our first six months with her in less than a page - so I will just say, it has been both difficult and amazing. She has a big personality for such a little baby.

I will be going back to school full-time in August. I have very mixed feelings about this. I long for the intellectual stimulation of research, but also feel sad that I won't have my baby by my side all day. We will see how it goes. I have promised my husband that I will finish out the fall semester and then decide where we should go from there. I think I owe myself and my work that much at least.

Hopefully you will see more posts from me as I get back on campus and get ready to comment on whatever the latest campus scandal happens to be ;). Motherhood has had the wonderful effect of making me oblivious to both Church and national politics. I didn't realize how much until I had some friends over and we got into a huge political discussion in which I was unusually out of my depth. (Debt ceiling? I'm more concerned about introducing solid foods.) I think I'm almost ready to jump back in to the wonderful bundle of contradictions that is the University of Notre Dame. I see from my blogroll that I haven't been the only one long absent. I hope some of you are still around and reading my musings.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-22T12:56:00.000-05:00

Wishing a Happy New Year to all - just a little bit late! My days have been very quiet recently. I managed to wrap up the fall semester with a fair amount of success. My grades weren't exactly stellar, but I did manage solid B's, so I am officially done with the coursework portion of my degree. Now I'm at home waiting for my little one to arrive. She should be here any day now. I am a little anxious, but very excited to meet her!

Of Nobel Prizes and Playing God

2010-10-04T10:47:00.007-04:00

The Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine was awarded today to the man who invented in vitro fertilization (IVF). I had been paying closer attention to this Nobel Prize this year because of my Advanced Cell Biology class. There was a class "contest" to see if anyone would be able to correctly predict the winner of this year's Nobel for Physiology and Medicine. Most people guessed that stem cell research of some type would win the prize.

However, it is an interesting coincidence that the prize was awarded for IVF. Why? The class I'm taking consists primarily of analysis and discussion of various scientific papers relating to important topics in cell biology. We read and discussed a number of papers on embryonic stem cells - mostly mouse embryonic stem cells, but inevitably the discussion turned to the ethics of human embryonic stem cells. During the discussion, our professor acknowledged that scientists have not done themselves favors by appearing to be "tinkering" with nature merely for the sake of tinkering. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should. But he also seemed to be under the impression that opposition to HESC research was based primarily in ignorance. For instance, he stated that many HESC opponents believed that aborted fetal tissue was an HESC source. I don't know how true that is for the general population, but I don't know any educated Catholic who labors under that mistaken assumption! For my part, I'm fully aware, and have been for a long time, that HESCs are sourced from "leftover" embryos resulting from IVF, and that fact doesn't make the destruction of small humans any less a violation of the moral law.

He also made a point which I found interesting, even if I strongly disagreed with the assumption that this would be a good thing: if HESC research is able to produce a cure for a disease like diabetes, the moral opposition to the use of HESCs will eventually break down. He used IVF as an example: opposition to IVF has eroded, because who could possibly be against something that produces cute little babies and gives infertile couples their dearest wish? And thus we have a new morality in which the ends justify the means, and the Catholic Church is increasingly seen as outmoded and even cruel in its insistence that the creation of human life not be artificially divorced from the union of man and wife.

IVF is now so widely accepted that a lady at my knitting group whom I barely knew had no problem announcing to the entire group that she and her husband had just conceived a child through IVF. Her obvious excitement signaled to me that I was meant to react with squeals of delight and overflowing enthusiasm. How does a Catholic react in such a situation? I think I congratulated her briefly and excused myself to go to the ladies' room. Too much information from a total stranger, too much temptation to ask, "So how many of your leftover babies are going to stay on ice forever?" I sadly lacked the courage and wisdom to respond in a way that showed my compassion for her struggle with infertility while pointing out the moral perils of IVF. I did not wish her ill in any way whatsoever, but I did feel a profound sadness at the whole situation.

So I cannot rejoice or celebrate that IVF is being acknowledged by the Nobel Prize committee as a major scientific breakthrough. To me it was a milestone of a different kind: the point where it was no longer considered a violation of moral law to manipulate the very beginnings of human life at will and "play God." Nowadays it's a race to the bottom -- science may and should do as it pleases, ethical objections and frozen embryos be damned. These small human lives are considered merely a commodity. Please join me today in praying for an increase in respect for all human life, from conception to natural death.

ETA: Via the Irish Rover blog, a short article on a researcher who was passed over for the Prize. Many of my fellow students felt that this work on induced pluripotent stem cells would get the prize, and it's worth noting that these biology graduate students showed a great interest in and excitement about this alternative to embryonic stem cells.

"As long as it's healthy"

2010-09-01T15:38:00.000-04:00

In a few weeks I will be going for an ultrasound and if baby cooperates, Matt and I will find out whether we are welcoming a boy or girl in February. Of course, a lot of people have already asked me whether I have any preferences as to gender. I tell them that I'm convinced it's a girl, while my husband thinks it's a boy, and then I wind up with the standard canned response, "We'll be happy as long as it's healthy."

Having repeated this several times, I've started to stop and think about what I'm really saying. What if baby isn't healthy? I have no reason to believe he or she won't be, but then, one never knows. I went for a screening test on Monday, and while I know some Catholics have moral objections to prenatal testing, my motto is and has always been "knowledge is power." But it really got me thinking, what happens if I get back my results and something is wrong?

I thought and prayed about it some and I realized that if my baby isn't healthy, it will still be OK. I realized that nothing could change my love for my baby. I have to believe that no matter what, God brought this little life into being for some reason. God would never give me anything that He and I could not handle together. With great difficulty comes a great outpouring of grace.

So I am still praying for the blessings of health for my baby, but I will respond instead to people's questions, "We'll be happy, no matter what. This is a blessing!"

An interview with Mother Dolores Hart

2010-08-31T10:32:00.002-04:00

Here's a great interview in the National Catholic Register: Tim Drake talks to Mother Dolores Hart. What a beautiful soul she is. It was a privilege to hear her speak here at Notre Dame at this year's Edith Stein Conference.

The Truth about the Pill

2010-08-23T11:05:00.001-04:00

Heard this story on NPR today: With Birth Control Pills, New Isn't Always Better

A 16-year old with a blood clot that could have easily killed her...this is scary stuff. And yet the makers of birth control pills would have you believe that these side effects are "rare" and that the benefits of the Pill far outweigh the risks. It's good to see that Yaz has been exposed as dangerous, but the story also obscured the fact that these side effects are common to all types of birth control pills. We women pump these artificial hormones into our bodies every day for decades and expect there to be no problems. It's unrealistic to say the least.

I was also annoyed to see that not a single doctor challenged the assumption that this 16-year old girl needed to be on the Pill. Acne and irregular periods are inconvenient, yes, but they are common problems in all teenage girls and usually go away as women move into their 20s. There are plenty of other treatments for acne, and the idea that every woman must have a 28-day cycle every month or she's "abnormal" is quite absurd. Now, conditions like severe pain during the menstrual cycle are a different story. But doctors seem unwilling to address the underlying causes when it's so much easier just to prescribe the Pill. Hopefully stories like this will make some doctors rethink that approach.

A hopeful sign: in the comments, a handful of people are actually being open about the emotional and physical side effects of the Pill instead of touting it as a panacea. I'm starting to observe a wider acceptance of NFP/FAM in secular circles, which is fantastic. There are still plenty who scoff at it, of course, but there is an increased openness to the idea of natural birth control. Finally, people are waking up to the absurdity of an approach that suggests that our bodies are inherently "broken" and that the normal functioning of our reproductive systems is something to be "fixed."

I have returned!

2010-08-19T16:58:00.001-04:00

My apologies to my readers (all six of you!) for my extended absence. The end of the semester caught up with me, then summer rolled around and there just wasn't very much to blog about. No undergrads, no controversy du jour. However, I do love campus in the summer. It's wonderfully quiet, almost eerily so at times.

And then, there is another life change that precluded blogging. To our joy and surprise my husband and I have learned that we are going to be parents. I should say, we ARE parents, because although it's too early to feel any kicks or movement, I am as sure as I have ever been of anything that what I have inside my womb is most indeed a person. :) Building a person is hard work, though - harder than expected. I've spent most of the summer happily sitting on the couch with my feet up. Fatigue has been the major hardship - thankfully I've been spared the misery of morning sickness.

So what does this mean for me exactly? Well, at the moment, I don't have any plans to quit my Ph.D. Although I'm sure many people out there in blogland would disagree with that choice, my husband and I have decided that we have too much invested in this to give up right away. I said we because this has definitely been a joint effort. He's made a lot of sacrifices so that I could come to ND and do grad school and I will always be grateful for that. Also, somewhat selfishly, I love my job and I love what I do. My advisor is so fantastic to work with and I feel this is really a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. Then again, so is a baby!

At the same time, I do realize a baby changes things. I'm trying my best to stay open to whatever path God may show me. I keep praying, and I know that if it becomes obvious that I need to quit for the good of my family, then that's what I'll do. My husband has his job back, thankfully, which means I can afford to take a few semesters off to stay home with baby while he or she is very small. After that, we'll see how things go.

Baby will be here in February, but until then, I'll try my best to keep up with the blog and all the goings-on around campus. Blessings to all!

Seattle priest calls Pontifical Mass at National Shrine "offensive...silly...indecorous"

2010-04-28T12:54:00.000-04:00

The full takedown is here at Father Z's blog. I don't think I can add any more to that, except to say that after what I witnessed at my grandfather's funeral Mass, I don't know that a priest from the Archdiocese of Seattle is qualified to speak on matters of liturgical import. Among other things, I had to listen to the priest describe the Eucharist as a "family meal" - a woefully inadequate description! - and watch the Body of Christ be consecrated in what appeared to be a salad bowl from Target. (It was white stoneware, and I very distinctly saw a large barcode on the bottom when it was lifted up for the consecration.) Oh, and did I mention we had the Precious Blood in wineglasses? I cringed because I really did feel that my grandfather deserved better.

I try not to play "let's spot the liturgical abuses" because I went through a spell of that and then realized it was not only distracting me from the focus of the Mass, it was turning me into a real snob. But honestly, Jesus in a salad bowl? Maybe it's just the churches my family attends but every Mass I have been to out there in Seattle has been a little on the weird side.

Nunc dimittis servum tuum

2010-04-13T10:53:00.001-04:00

I've had a host of experiences in the past year that have made me realize I've entered adulthood - some pleasant, others less so. Doing my own taxes, buying a house, making a budget, paying a mortgage - the usual stuff that belongs to the "grown-up" world. I don't think any of these have made me feel that my childhood is now behind me, as much as the death of my grandfather has made me feel that way.

I've written about my father's father before - a stern, silent man. As a little girl I was always more than a little terrified of him. He was far from being the jolly grandpa of movies and story books. I don't ever remember being held on his lap. His hugs were always a bit stiff, and there weren't many of them. To a casual observer he and my grandmother would have seemed like an oddly matched pair. She was warm, vivacious and energetic even in her old age. Grandma was the provider of hugs, milk and waffles with powdered sugar on top. Granddad was the one you didn't annoy. I say this not with any kind of resentment - but just to tell you how it was.

On Holy Thursday I received word that my grandfather had passed away after suffering a stroke at the age of 95. Right away I felt I had to go to the funeral. I missed my aunt's funeral in November due to a bout of the flu, and I'll always regret that. I wanted to go to my grandfather's funeral - not out of some particular affection for him, but out of a desire to be there for my father, and a sense that his age and status as the family patriarch demanded this respect.

I think almost everyone reaches a point in life when they realize their parents are mortal - and it's a sobering thought. My aunt's death was that point for me, and my grandfather's funeral drove the message home again. As I watched my dad and his siblings place the pall on my grandfather's casket, it struck me that suddenly everyone looked older, more fragile. No one lives forever, but somehow when you're young you think the people who have been around your entire life will always be there. Not so - and the absence of my aunt as the remaining six children spread out the pall made that sharply clear for me.

After the funeral, during the time spent with my extended family, I was able to discern why my grandfather was the way he was. Encouraged by his mother to get an education, he left the farm at the tender age of 12 to board with another family who lived near the school, and did farm work to pay his board. He attended high school and graduated as valedictorian, in the days when a high school diploma actually meant something. He graduated from college then went on to Navy service in World War II and a long distinguished career in the federal government. In many ways he was, to use that cliched phrase, a "self-made man." Life was difficult then. It demanded that men be strong, unyielding, flinty. Is it any wonder he showed little tenderness in his relationships with his children and grandchildren?

My grandmother was the great love of his life. It takes a lot of energy to be the mother of nine children (two died young, sadly) but she did it all with grace and good humor. I heard this weekend that four hundred people came to her and my grandfather's 50th wedding anniversary, and that she knew every single one. She died when I was about 12 and since getting married I've often missed her and wished I could have her support and advice. My aunt told me that when she was dying, she worried aloud about how my grandfather would take care of himself. She might have worried more had she known it would be so long before he would join her. I hope and believe that they are, or will soon be, reunited - and there's comfort in that. Death does not divide us forever, but only separates us for a while.

If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are the most pitiable people of all.
But now Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.
For since death came through a human being, the resurrection of the dead came also through a human being.
For just as in Adam all die, so too in Christ shall all be brought to life,

but each one in proper order: Christ the firstfruits; then, at his coming, those who belong to Christ;
then comes the end, when he hands over the kingdom to his God and Father, when he has destroyed every sovereignty and every authority and power.

For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet.
The last enemy to be destroyed is death [...] (1 Corinthians 15:19-26)

Grad student petition for improving ND policies on family life

2010-04-12T17:57:00.000-04:00

Some anonymous soul left a drive-by link to this Petition for a Family-Friendlier Notre Dame on my previous post about grad student life at ND. (Anon, if you're out there still, I'd love to know who you are and how you found my humble blog. I violated my usual rule of not posting anonymous comments because I was intrigued by the link.) I like most of the proposals therein, although there are a few I might modify (but perhaps the authors of the petition are thinking big?) I thought they were overreaching themselves at first, but as I read I realized that what is being proposed is not radical - but simply policy changes that would bring ND up to par with the much-vaunted "peer institutions."

Although I've been thwarted in my hope that we might see real healthcare reform that lowers costs, instead of a massive federal government takeover, I think there is much ND could do to make sure its grad students get adequate healthcare. As much I admire the work of the Women's Care Center, I really think ND grad students shouldn't have to resort to charity in order to get maternity care. The latest WCC flyer I received in the mail told the story of an international graduate student whose wife unexpectedly became pregnant during his time at Notre Dame. They worried about not being able to afford the baby - and considered abortion. They were able to get the help they needed from the WCC, but the fact that ND grad students even have to think about abortion due to financial distress is sad to say the least. The situation for international graduate students is especially dire as their spouses are usually here on visas which don't allow them to seek gainful employment!

There are a host of other "quality of life" issues that are addressed in the petition. The condition of married student housing is one of them. Frankly I wouldn't live in any of the on-campus housing that's designated for married students, either with or without children. Apartments off-campus are a much better value for the price. I've heard that the apartments for married students with kids are aging and not really in good shape. The gouging on rent is especially heinous in light of the size of a grad student stipend. I'm lucky as an engineering student to receive about $20,000/year (ish...I'm not telling you how much I really make!) Students in Arts and Letters have to make do with much less. In my program's handbook we are told, in a tone of admonition, that the stipend is only intended to support one person. But that doesn't at all match up with reality - for international students whose spouses can't work, or even for American citizens whose spouses can't find a job in this recession. (Been there, done that!) Even a cost-of-living increase from year to year would help.

The University's trumpeting of its "pro-life" policies contrasts sharply with its shabby treatment of grad student families. I'm not sure if I'll be joining this group in front of the Dome - I'm not really the protesting type - but I fully support their efforts to improve conditions for graduate students and their families.

Abuse scandal - I have to get this off my chest

2010-04-05T16:50:00.001-04:00

Some things that must be said before I can talk about my Holy Week and Easter experience. First, I entered Holy Week with a heart churning with worry. Not only was I overburdened with work, my mind was very much occupied with the awful scandals that have again erupted in our church. In spite of Pope Benedict's stern rebuke of the Irish bishops who turned a blind eye to abuse, some were determined to implicate him in a "cover-up" in the case of a notorious molester priest in Wisconsin, while Benedict was still a cardinal and head of the CDF. Of course, this brought about a spate of anti-Catholic screeds in the media, particularly painful during Holy Week.

It was tough work to separate fiction from fact. Two things stood out for me - first, that the local diocese should have taken action on their own to get rid of this priest (why did they never bring the force of civil law to bear on this man?). Second, even if Pope Benedict is guilty of a cover-up (and I doubt it - having looked at the facts of the case, at worst he did not treat the case with due urgency, and that may not even be the case, considering how slowly the wheels of canon law turn), it doesn't change anything for me. We've had bad popes before. Catherine of Siena is an ever greater inspiration for me at this time - after all, she remained loyal to Christ and his Church in spite of a succession of sometimes greedy, weak, fearful and venal popes. It doesn't change the fact that the Catholic Church preaches Truth.

But how can you tolerate the horrors of child abuse, you may ask? It's simple. I don't. I believe, as does our Pope, that the "filth" must be rooted out from the Church. I also believe that molester priests should definitely be dealt with appropriately under civil law. If there's anything about the whole thing that makes my stomach turn, it is the fact that some bishops and church officials did deliberately protect molester priests. But I don't see any evidence that Pope Benedict is one of them. He's not a man who would turn a blind eye to evil. But even if he was, it doesn't change the truth of the Church's teachings. I put my faith in Christ Jesus and the Church he founded, not in any individual pope, much as I might admire him.

I also don't doubt that this scandal is ultimately diabolical in origin. (I can only imagine the reaction of my secular friends and colleagues if I expressed that sentiment to them.) Think about it: What better way to neutralize and diminish a great force for good and for Truth in our world, than to implicate its leaders in one of the few perversions our oversexed society still finds revolting? Make no mistake, this is the end goal, whether conscious or unconscious. Shame on those who would use victimized children as a club with which to beat the Church. I wonder if these activists, who are being widely quoted in the media (one on NPR today was openly agitating for democratically elected bishops) actually care about these children at all?

I'll leave you with some excellent links I've gathered over the past week as I try to deal with this issue:
New York Daily News: Fairness for the Pope
CatholicEducation.org: A Response to Christopher Hitchens' The Great Catholic Coverup
National Review, Fr. Raymond de Souza: A Response to the New York Times
The Anchoress: Why I Remain a Catholic (I love the Anchoress' blog, by the way. She's a fantastic blogger - she cuts to the heart of the matter without ranting or vitriol. I wish I had just an ounce of her grace and patience, not to mention writing skill.)

Two by Undset: Part 2

2010-02-18T15:33:00.001-05:00

Finally, I am ready to go back and do part 2 of the post on the Sigrid Undset books I was reading back in January! Whew, that took a while (and I'm mortified to see that at the end of the post I promised to follow up in "a day or two.") So, the second book was actually a new one: Undset's hagiography of St. Catherine of Siena, which has recently been republished by Ignatius Press.

I didn't know much about St. Catherine of Siena before I read this book. I purchased it mainly for Undset's writing, which I already know and love. I knew Catherine mainly as the holy woman who convinced the Pope to return from his exile in Avignon, but that was pretty much it. I can be slack with my spiritual reading, taking several months to read one book. However, Undset's writing style worked its magic and I practically devoured this book, finishing it in two or three days.

Undset not only tells us about Catherine's life, but paints a vivid picture of life in 14th-century Tuscany. With her usual knack for historical detail, she tells us of the political situation of Italy and the Papal States during Catherine's life, and explains the reasons for the exile to Avignon - basically there were a lot of political games being played between the French and the Italian cardinals, and the French really wanted the temporal power that comes with having control over the papacy. The Italian cardinals were definitely biased towards selecting Italian popes, true - but Undset reveals the reasons for that bias by explaining to us how a non-Italian pope complicated the situation in the Papal States. Non-Italians were less interested in the welfare of the people, seeking mainly to plunder the papal possessions in the name of their country. The historical background is very important for understanding Catherine's life and Undset certainly treats it with all due diligence.

I had always assumed that Catherine of Siena was a nun (most medieval women saints seem to be either nuns or queens), but actually, she was a Third Order Dominican. As a young woman she joined an order of Dominican tertiaries in Siena, mostly widows who lived at home. I was surprised that she chose this route rather than that of a cloistered nun - but obviously God had His reasons for keeping Catherine out of the cloister. Catherine was also from a distinctly middle-class background, in a time when many religious leaders were of the noble class. Her father was a cloth dyer in Siena and her brothers also worked in that trade. She was not highly educated, either - she learned to read and write as an adult, and these abilities came to her almost as a miraculous blessing.

The other really striking thing about Catherine, to me anyway, was her ability to form deep spiritual friendships with men. The young men of Siena seemed to be really drawn to her - she was able to act as a spiritual guide and lead them out of lives of wantonness. Undset described how young men would enter her home, angry that she was converting their best "drinking buddies," and leave converted themselves. These young men often addressed Catherine as "Mamma" emphasizing her role as spiritual mother. In an unusual role reversal, her confessor, Raimondo of Capua, came to regard her as his spiritual guide. He could perceive that Catherine had been given graces far beyond anything he himself would have. Catherine shows that real feminine virtue is attractive to men; men want to have something to aspire to, a woman whom they can look up to as an ideal. Something to remember in our modern times, when the goal for "real women" seems to be to act like rough, crude men. The best in womanhood - graciousness, firmness, chastity - calls out to the best in manhood - courageousness, chivalry, and purity.

I would recommend this biography to anyone wishing to learn more about Catherine of Siena, or about the "Babylonian exile" of the Papacy to Avignon. Catherine is truly an example of God using the weak of the world to shame the strong. She was a woman, in a time when women were not regarded as equal to men; of humble origins, in a time when noble blood mattered most. Yet because of the extraordinary graces given to her by God she was able to admonish and guide kings and Popes, and to accomplish God's will on earth.

Edith Stein Conference, Part 2

2010-02-13T20:40:00.006-05:00

My nerves were a bit on edge as I settled in with my knitting. (I find I do a better job of staying attentive and alert when I knit, and I'm able to follow and understand while doing so, so I brought a project to work on during ESC.) Ms. Selmys began by saying that she had prepared a talk, but would diverge from her prepared remarks slightly to address some of the accusations made against her by the protesters; namely, that she was an "ex-gay" who believed homosexuality is a disease. She countered this accusation and the others calmly and effectively, and, to my great relief, a respectful attentiveness was maintained by all in the auditorium.

As a result of the semi-ad-libbed nature of the talk, it was a bit rough around the edges, but I found her talk to be compelling in spite of some verbal hesitations. I didn't expect to come to the talk and be forced to take a long, uncomfortable look at myself, but I definitely did. She spoke about the fact that most gay and lesbian people feel themselves to be outcasts and misfits, and that the gay community provides a very welcoming place for them. In contrast, it is easy for gays and lesbians to feel like they aren't part of the Catholic community. If they decide to convert to Catholicism, it is extremely hard for them to cut those ties with the gay community, because they were accepted there when no one else would accept them. She pointed out that the Church's teaching has nothing of prejudice or bigotry about it, but that individual Catholics can sometimes be guilty of both. We emphasize that we "hate the sin, but love the sinner," but it often comes out as hating the sin with particular fervor, but loving the sinner vaguely and abstractly. This was the take-home message for me. If we want to win people to Christ and the Church, we have to love them as individuals, and love with no reservations. Only then will we be able to preach the Gospel effectively.

Ms. Selmys noted that the tendency among Catholics is to view people with homosexual inclinations as enemies in the "culture war", when they are not enemies, but children of God. Ouch. That hit home uncomfortably for me. I thought back to my blog posts, and to my own "knee-jerk response" (she used this exact phrase) to the protesting students outside. I've grown to have an affection for Notre Dame, and I've become aware that there's something special here that should be protected. When I percieve people as trying to hack at the roots of Notre Dame's Catholic-ness, I get defensive and, you guessed it, I start to think of them as enemies. This has come through in every. single. post. I've made on this issue. And it isn't nice. Ouch again. I don't know any openly gay people personally, but if I do encounter any, I am now aware of what could keep me from loving them as Christ does, and that will help immensely. I felt Ms. Selmys could make these points with an effectiveness that few others could, because of her perspective from both sides of the issue. I'm really glad that the organizers of the ESC were able to bring her here.

Ms. Selmys' talk was followed up by a panel discussion, consisting of herself, a representative of the Diocesan Office of Family Life, and Dr. Peter Kilpatrick, Dean of the College of Engineering. They discussed a document by the USCCB about the Church's teaching on homosexuality, then opened the floor to questions. The first questioner was particularly strident, accusing Notre Dame of promoting Catholic identity while denying homosexual students their own identity. (My friend told me she was a literature professor. It speaks volumes about ND that departments feel free to hire someone with such obvious animus against Catholic teaching.) I felt that no one addressed this point effectively, although it was difficult because her question wasn't so much a question as a diatribe.

This professor was conflating "Catholic identity" with identification with a race, ethnic group, or sexual orientation, and I think that is a mistake. I would have drawn a distinction between "Catholic-ness" and the kind of "homosexual identity" that she seems to want to foster, by pointing out that Catholic identity is not an end in itself. If Catholic practice and appearances of being Catholic become the end goal, then what we have are "cultural Catholics." That doesn't get people to heaven. The goal is always to become saints, to be united with Jesus Christ! As opposed to inward turned goals, the end goal of forming Catholic identity is to lead people into a relationship with Christ and his Church. Formation of homosexual identity as it is commonly understood would be about self-fulfillment, self-gratification. Encouraging students to form "homosexual identities" runs counter to the formation of Catholic identity which is centered on Christ, and therefore Notre Dame has no business doing such a thing. (I wish I could formulate my thoughts on this a little bit better, but this is what you get, sorry blog readers!)

A student, who identified himself as a member of the Core Council on gay and lesbian issues, asked a question about gay Catholics feeling excluded from the Church. I don't remember the specifics of the question, or all the answers, but I do remember something Ms. Selmys said that I agreed with strongly. She said that people with homosexual attractions perceive a hypocrisy within the Church, because the clergy and laity who condemn homosexual activity seem to turn a blind eye to the sexual sins of heterosexuals. She pointed out that it's easy for a gay person to feel put-upon when he sees a priest marrying a couple who has openly cohabited. I would add also that contraception is a serious sin which is almost never preached on from the pulpit. I agree that more attention needs to be paid to the Catholic sexual ethics as a whole. Heterosexual Catholics can fall prey to plenty of sexual sins as well, and it needs to be emphasized that we are all called to chastity according to our state of life.

I was most gratified to see Dr. Kilpatrick taking part. Although I don't think most people would consider an engineering dean to be any kind of an "expert" on these issues, it was really great to have a representative of Notre Dame's Catholic faculty present. This was especially good since one of the questions was directed towards ND's non-discrimination policy, and whether the panelists supported changing it to include sexual orientation. The young woman who asked it was one of the more vocal members of the "protest group" outside and referred to herself as "queer.". I'm not sure I heard correctly, but I think she stated that she felt "threatened" by the atmosphere on campus and by Ms. Selmys' talk. Threatened? I found it very odd. I suppose it really is threatening, in a sense, to listen to someone who used to subscribe to your entire worldview and has since had a conversion of heart. But I doubt that's what she meant.

Later on I was in the ladies room and witnessed an older woman calmly reproving this student for the obscene content of the poetry that was read. Her response was something to the effect of "This is about the body, and we celebrate the body and find it beautiful." The older woman objected to the profanities and the student responded "We'll take that under advisement." To me it showed a profound lack of understanding. If you are trying to persuade people of the rightness of your cause, why go out of your way to do something that you know will be offensive to them? Deliberate abrasiveness is totally counterproductive. (As an aside, I wonder how many of these protesters considered ND Response "disrespectful" of President Obama and believed we had no place on campus.)

I was disappointed that the "protest group" immediately left after the talk on homosexuality. They would have gotten so much more out of it had they gone to Dr. Reimer's talk on Theology of the Body. It was sort of "ToB 101" so I didn't hear much that was new, but it was a great refresher nevertheless. (Dr. Reimers is a member of the Communion and Liberation group I've been attending and he and his wife are lovely people.)

To me their hasty departure said volumes. They were not interested in understanding Catholic sexual ethics, merely in protesting what they do not understand. Again, if you are seeking to convince, why not at least try to understand your opponents? I do appreciate the respectfulness once Ms. Selmys' talk started, but I feel that they really deprived themselves by not going to more talks and seeing what we are really all about. There's this whole well of knowledge, the treasure of the Church that is Theology of the Body, that they just plain aren't interested in because of their preconceptions. It just makes me sad.

I came home to a wonderful steak dinner and a raspberry chocolate mousse prepared by my loving and diligent husband. Marriage isn't always a bed of roses, but the little things can make it very sweet. Now I'm off to finish some housework. Chinese New Year is tomorrow, and it is traditional to clean the house before hand so all is in readiness for the new beginning. It's a tradition I haven't always kept, but I'm trying to do so this year.

(Disclaimer: My record of the ESC is totally from memory, I did not take any notes. I tried to get everything right. If anyone wishes to correct any quotes I have made, please feel free to comment.)

Edith Stein Conference 2010, part 1

2010-02-13T18:57:00.009-05:00

:This weekend was the annual Edith Stein Conference, which is put on by the idND club to bring speakers to campus to address issues of interpersonal relationships, sexuality, and identity from a Catholic perspective. I went last year and enjoyed it very much. However, made the fatal mistake of not blogging about it, so my memories are vague. I'm determined not to do the same this year, so here I am camped out on the couch, blogging away!

I missed Friday's talks last year due to my scheduling and this year was the same. Between lab meeting, a TA walkthrough, and Bioseminar, my Friday afternoon was packed! I intended to make it to this morning's first presentation, but I was, frankly, slothful this morning and didn't get there in time. The first presentation I made it to ended up being something I wouldn't have chosen for myself, but it turned out to be great. The speaker was Mother Dolores Hart, the abbess of a Benedictine abbey in Connecticut. She spoke about her former life as an actress, both on film and on Broadway, and how she was able to continue her vocation in acting even after she joined the Benedictines. (She had been in two movies with Elvis Presley, and I particularly appreciated her description of Elvis as "a lovely man.")

Mother Dolores' background in acting was evident in her bearing and presence. Listening to her was like listening to a favorite older aunt recalling her life. While still a successful actress, she had come to know the Mother of the abbey, and she was invited to spend a vacation with the nuns. In spite of wanting to continue her career, she found herself drawn more and more to the cloister. She eventually could not ignore the call of God and entered religious life. However, she still maintained contacts and friendships from her Hollywood life, and these friends, after they had come to spend time at the abbey, gave money to build a theater there. During the annual "Abbey Fest", which is well attended by the locals, the sisters put on plays there - everything from Shakespeare to Sartre. In recent years they have even put on musicals with kids from the community. It was really wonderful listening to her story and thinking about how she was able to integrate two callings as seemingly disparate as acting and religious life. I'm thinking in particular about my own life, and my two conflicting calls to academic life and motherhood.

After Mother Dolores' talk, it was time for lunch, and I met up with my DH at Chipotle for a nice break. Coming back I was a little startled to see a group of maybe 20 people, whom I didn't recognize from the morning's talk, standing in a circle reading aloud and applauding each other. The subject matter ("let us define our own love") made it evident to me that these people were probably not in agreement with the aims of ESC. They were passing out slips of paper which stated that their purpose was to read "queer poetry" to protest the afternoon's speaker, Melinda Selmys, a lesbian turned Catholic who was going to lecture on homosexuality. It also became evident that the poems were what most people would call obscene. One of the conference organizers announced that the next talk would start soon, only to be shouted down by a "poet" who read a line and loudly emphasized the word "c**k." This in the presence of children. I was feeling quite upset and wondered if they would disrupt the talk.

I caught up with a fellow grad student inside the auditorium and we chatted a little bit about the disturbance outside. I struck up a conversation with a student sitting in front of me, who told me he was gay. "At least they could have picked some good gay poetry," he quipped. "Not exactly Oscar Wilde, is it?" I replied, smiling. "Or 'Glory be to God for dappled things,'" he said. "I probably won't agree with everything this speaker says, but what they are doing doesn't do anything except make people angrier."

(This is getting lengthy, and it's dinnertime, so you will hear all about the speaker in the next post!)

"That's Unchristian!"

2010-02-11T21:25:00.003-05:00

In my second year of grad school I have now become accustomed (I think) to being one of a handful of folks of the conservative persuasion in my workplace. If I'm going to pursue a career in academia, I'd better get used to it, right? Usually it doesn't really affect things - lots of good-natured teasing around election time last year, but otherwise nobody talks much about politics, and that's the way I like it.

One of the guys I work with closely is pretty liberal - I don't know if he uses the term "Christian Left" but I think if he heard it, he'd like it. He's very anti-war, anti-military spending, pro-universal healthcare, the whole nine yards. He likes to post a lot about political views on his Facebook. One thing that bothers me immensely is that he frequently accuses those who do not support socialized medicine, social welfare, and the like, of being "un-Christian." This seems to be a favorite tactic among the Christian liberals I have known. You can't lose when you have Jesus on your side, and slinging around slogans like, "Jesus would be for socialized medicine!" is a surefire way to make your opponents look bad.

Needless to say, I bristle at the implication my co-worker is making - that all who are politically conservative are by definition, "un-Christian." Jesus came among us as a man to establish a Church, not a political school of thought. Disagreeing with someone's politics doesn't make you less of a Christian than them, and there are people on both the right and the left who need to realize that. My views are these: Jesus gave us a very specific set of commands with regards to our duty towards the less fortunate. He commanded us plainly to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned. He did not, however, command us to force Caesar to do these things. Our responsibility is personal and not to be shoved off on the government.

Christians can differ in their views on how Christ's commandment is best carried out. I personally think there is a place for some form of a social safety net in our society, but I don't necessarily believe that federal government is always the best means of establishing one. Some of these programs, as they are now structured, do not promote human freedom but rather a kind of bondage to the state, which I feel is antithetical to the dignity of the individual. (I should emphasize that certain issues are non-negotiable, i.e. abortion, euthanasia, and the like. We have to be careful to distinguish the non-negotiables from other issues which fall in the political and not the moral realm.)

The Church is neither Republican nor Democrat, but eternal. My co-worker is a Christian, and I am a Christian, in spite of the fact that we disagree on the way the country should be run. For anyone to say otherwise would be, well, un-Christian!

Bad Vestments R Us

2010-02-08T13:57:00.003-05:00

I'm addicted to snark blogs, so this was right up my alley. Via Shrine of the Holy Whapping, a site skewering bad vestments. Although Episcopalian priestesses seem to be overrepresented, the blog is refreshingly ecumenical; Roman Catholic and Anglican traditions are well represented, with a few Lutherans and even an Orthodox priest thrown in for good measure. Love it! Now I'd like to see them take on some of the more flamboyant Black Pentecostal churches. They have bishops with croziers and vestments that are downright blingin'. They'd put the priestesses to shame!

And so it begins

2010-02-01T20:55:00.006-05:00

I was wondering how long it would take for the Observer to publish a letter (responding to another student's defense of Catholic teaching on homosexuality) that accuses observant Catholics of "bigotry" and homophobia. I actually thought it would come a lot faster. Observer, you slay me.

This is why I believe that a change in the non-discrimination clause opens the door to disciplinary and legal actions against students who hold Catholic convictions about sinfulness of homosexual acts. If a student can be slandered openly as a bigot for daring to quote the Catechism, well, it doesn't bode well, does it?

I have to say I really don't understand these students at all. If I was going to a school whose policies I discovered to be utterly against my most deeply-held beliefs, I think I might transfer rather than trying to remake an entire university in my own image. But hey, apparently what Notre Dame really needs is to become another Purdue or UC Berkeley or Yale, devoid of any vestige of that icky-sticky Catholicism stuff. Sure, we could keep the nice art, and that cool teaching about social justice, but all that medieval blather about sin and natural law needs to go! All hail Progress!

Keep the stained glass and the pretty statues but pull the moral and theological foundation from under them - that seems to be the prevailing line of thought amongst some of the students agitating here. It makes no sense to me - perhaps because I have come to understand that the Catholic Faith is a beautiful and coherent whole. If the Catholic Church has no authority to teach the truth about homosexuality or birth control or any one of a host of "difficult topics," how can we trust Her authority on anything else? This schizophrenic mindset is one that is present among so many today. We accept the teachings only when they make us feel good, only when they coincide with our particular world view. I know this is a challenge that I struggle with myself.

I am so very much looking forward to the Edith Stein conference this year - not just for the petty pleasure (and I freely admit it is petty - I've never claimed to be a saint) of being amongst like-minded people, but for the insights I will gain about theology, about the universal call to chastity, about God and man and the relationships thereof. Notre Dame is one of the few places I would have such an opportunity every year. God grant it may always be so.

When the king returns...

2010-01-27T13:33:00.003-05:00

From NPR, a fascinating piece about a Royalist memorial Mass for Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette at the Church of Saint-Denis. They talk briefly about the Royalist movement in France, albeit with a little scorn. But I think there is something wonderful, noble, and dare I say, romantic about their loyalty to a long-gone king, improbable as the restoration of the French monarchy may be. "When the king shall come again" and all that. I very much like the way the story is centered on the requiem Mass (in Latin - an Extraordinary Form Mass, most likely). It highlights the ancient identity of France as royal and Catholic.

Although I am thoroughly American and as such believe in a government "of the people, for the people, and by the people," I admit I have always had a fascination with doomed royalty. In high school I was thoroughly obsessed with Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and his family. The story of the mild autocrat, his strong-minded, religious wife, and their five children captured my imagination. I even have a term paper I wrote for 10th grade world history on the reign of Nicholas II - I seem to remember summing him up as a good man but a poor ruler.

Now my interest has turned to France, thanks to Antonia Fraser's bio of Marie Antoinette, which I've read so many time that it is starting to get quite worn and wrinkled. She was very far from the harpy she is often portrayed as - she was actually noted for her good works and her concern for the poor. There are certain similarities between Nicholas and Louis XVI - both inherited problems from their predecessors which they were ill equipped to deal with, their foreign-born wives became the center of the people's bitterness and discontent, and their deaths were and are considered as martyrdom by some. For those who are interested in learning more about the Catholic Monarchs Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, the blog Tea at Trianon has a wealth of information.

Is Notre Dame intolerant?

2010-01-22T15:40:00.007-05:00

The other day I wrote, "Unfortunately Mr. Klee's letter will probably go unnoticed in the brouhaha over an offensive cartoon published in the Observer..." Sadly I was correct. In true Observer fashion, the Viewpoint section has been utterly dominated by a single point of view on a hot-button issue. The resident progressives have spoken and apparently Notre Dame is "gay unfriendly."

It's sad that I should even have to state this, but I am bound by my sense of justice to state that absolutely nothing in Catholic teaching on homosexuality promotes hatred and injustice toward same-sex attracted persons. We are to love them just as we love every child of God. If there are people on campus claiming that their animus towards SSA people is due to their Catholic upbringing, I will be the first in line to call them out and shame them for their twisted understanding of Church doctrine, and remind them that the average undergraduate has plenty of sins of his own to worry about without concerning himself with his neighbor's. However, I doubt their loving adherence to Catholic doctrine is the cause of their animosity. Some students lacking in charity may be hiding behind a facade of Catholicism, but I think it's nothing but good old-fashioned bigotry at play - nothing Catholic about that!

Predictably, however, some people with an agenda are using this latest flap as a pretext to continue to undermine Notre Dame's Catholic identity and silence authentic Catholic teaching on campus. The cries of "backward" and "prejudiced" are being flung recklessly around, as are the words "hatred" and "discrimination." Not one of these people defines the nebulous term "hatred," which makes me think that "hatred" in this case stands for "holding the belief that homosexual activity is sinful." One particularly silly letter to the Observer urges us to look to the Jesuits on how to treat SSA persons on campus. I have to wonder whether this writer is aware that most Jesuit universities have distanced themselves from Catholicism, describing themselves as "in the Jesuit tradition" with little to no connection to the universal Church. Boston College is known as "Barely Catholic" for a reason, you know. I see that the author did go to a Jesuit school, so I suppose he thinks that kicking Catholicism to the curb is a plus. Needless to say, I vehemently disagree. Jesuit universities are hardly a model for Notre Dame to follow.

A final thought - is it real charity if you see your neighbor rushing headlong toward the edge of a cliff and you do nothing to stop him because you "accept his lifestyle choice?" If any friends or family members of mine were actively gay, I would love them just the same. Nothing would change for me. But for me to pretend that I do not believe that they are making wrong choices that are hurting their relationship to God, would be extremely dishonest and would be doing them a disservice.

A grad student speaks out

2010-01-20T11:51:00.007-05:00

Today there was a letter to the editor in the Observer that was actually worth reading. Bravo, Mr. Klee! And it touched on a subject near and dear to my heart - quality of life for married grad students and grad students with families at ND. Read on, my friends: Family Life at Notre Dame

I don't know Mr. Klee personally, but we are most certainly on the same wavelength. He touches on a lot of the points I made in a previous post about women in academic life - the policy which allows grad student mothers a bare six weeks at home with their newborns and the lack of child care on campus for children younger than two years of age. He also brings out a point I had missed - the cost of grad student insurance for spouses. I had originally planned to put my husband on my insurance when he lost his job, but thanks to COBRA he can keep his US Steel insurance for a fraction of what it would have cost me to buy it from ND. Our stipends are small enough already, and insurance payments are a significant expense.

To my great surprise, Mr. Klee points out the family policies that benefit grad students at schools like Yale, Cornell, and the UC system school. I won't repeat what he wrote in his letter, but the plans they have sound great and frankly, put ND to shame. When I came to ND I didn't really see the maternity policies here as a problem, because I assumed the secular schools would be even worse. I just assumed that it was like this everywhere because grad students are fairly low on the academic food chain. Now that I see it isn't, I feel just a little bit angry. I trusted that a Catholic school would recognize the primacy of the family - and clearly, that isn't the case.

On a more personal note, this letter hit a real chord with me because of my husband's continuing unemployment and the financial difficulties resulting from that. He is still unable to find a job in the area because of the dismal economy, and is now starting to look out-of-state. I don't want to quit grad school - I worked really hard to get here and I love what I'm doing - but part of me wonders what the point would be in continuing. If he moves and I stay here to finish school, I'd only be starting all over again, looking for a postdoc in one specific area of the country with my very specific skill set. The never-ending two body problem would just continue to plague me. And I know couples do it, but living apart as a married couple would be very painful to me and, I feel, contradictory to the spirit of Christian married life. I want to start our family soon and continuing on in academic life would just throw up more hurdles in our way. I wonder why I should go on in a profession that is so very unwelcoming of women who actually want to be wives and mothers.

In any case, it makes me very happy to see a fellow grad student standing up for us. It's easy to feel neglected here, with ND being so heavily undergrad-centered. If ND really wants to become prominent in research, they need to be able to attract graduate students with family-friendly policies. Unfortunately Mr. Klee's letter will probably go unnoticed in the brouhaha over an offensive cartoon published in the Observer (which I apparently missed) but I say to him again, bravo, sir!

Two by Undset: Part 1

2010-01-18T20:43:00.007-05:00

The beginning of the semester is always a nice time for leisure reading. I'm not yet bogged down with classes and in the mood for more meditative pursuits. I have been reading two works by Sigrid Undset (you may recall my earlier post on her masterpiece Kristin Lavransdatter). The first is her tetralogy The Master of Hestviken, and the second is her biography of Catherine of Siena, recently republished by Ignatius Press.

I actually re-read The Master of Hestviken, which is composed of the four books The Axe, The Snake Pit, In the Wilderness, and The Son Avenger. I really can't do justice to the plot of this epic novel in a blog post - and it really is epic in the best sense of the word, as Undset was inspired by the old Norse sagas. Like Kristin Lavransdatter, the novel is set in medieval Norway, and is roughly contemporaneous to Kristin (a young Lavrans Bjorgulfson makes a cameo appearance towards the end of The Snake Pit). The main characters are Olav Audunsson, the eponymous heir of Hestviken, and Ingunn Steinfinnsdatter, his foster sister. Olav and Ingunn are betrothed as children and raised as brother and sister. When they grow into teenagers and succumb to temptation, they naively expect that their eventual marriage will shield them from the consequences. Unfortunately, this is not the case. The family intrigues come fast and heavy as Olav rashly kills a relative of Ingunn's and is forced to go into exile. When he returns to find that Ingunn has been seduced and borne an illegitimate child, he kills her seducer, and for complicated reasons, finds himself unable to confess the sin for many years.

This book is nothing short of depressing, in all honesty. Things never really improve for Olav and Ingunn after the sins of their youth. Just when you think it is impossible for them to make their lives worse, it gets worse, without fail - and they usually do it to themselves. In Kristin, Undset deals with the reality that there is no "happily ever after" and she makes that even more bleakly clear in The Master of Hestviken. Even after Olav secures his ancestral manor and marries Ingunn, she suffers ill health and dozens of miscarriages, dying after years as an invalid. He raises Eirik, her illegitimate son, as his own, alternately trying to do penance for murdering the child's father and hating the boy for not being his own blood. In the end, it is Eirik who resolves the conflict of his parents' sins, but only after following his own crooked path.

Reading this description probably doesn't induce you to read the book - but there is so much more to it than the bald list of Olav's endless sufferings. The love between Olav and Ingunn is beautifully described. Almost like Cathy and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, their childhood affinity grew into a love that has so shaped them that they cannot imagine life without each other. (Olav even begs Ingunn to come back to him after she dies, a scene which should be familiar to readers of WH.) In spite of all Ingunn's failings, Olav shows an amazing selflessness towards her which raises them above Cathy and Heathcliff's animal passion. Later, as Olav realizes the gravity of his sin and struggles to confess, we are treated to inner monologues that perfectly describe the crushing weight of sin and the pain of separation from God. It is a book well worth reading - not "leisure reading" but a novel that will help you grow spiritually. There aren't many books I can truly say that of.

After typing up this lengthy post on The Master of Hestviken, I realized that Catherine of Siena really deserves its own post. I will follow up in a day or two.

Gaudete Sunday

2009-12-14T17:38:00.003-05:00

We went to Mass at St. Matthew's this Sunday. I love the Basilica but it is a bit of a drive from our home on the south side of town, especially since I am habitually late for Mass! St. Matthew's is also starting to feel more like home. I think it's especially fortuitous that the parish's patron is also my DH's patron saint. I now make a habit of asking for his intercession, especially since my husband is still looking for work.

From the Gospel passage, this is what spoke to me:
The crowds asked John the Baptist,
“What should we do?”
He said to them in reply,
“Whoever has two cloaks
should share with the person who has none.
And whoever has food should do likewise.”
Even tax collectors came to be baptized and they said to him,
“Teacher, what should we do?”
He answered them,
“Stop collecting more than what is prescribed.”
Soldiers also asked him,
“And what is it that we should do?”
He told them,
“Do not practice extortion,
do not falsely accuse anyone,
and be satisfied with your wages.”

Notice what John the Baptist doesn't tell them to do. He doesn't tell all the people that they should all live in the desert and eat locusts as he does. He doesn't tell the tax collectors or the soldiers to quit their jobs. Instead, he tells them to serve God honestly in their everyday lives. Notice also that he does not promote an attitude of, "I'm okay, you're okay" or any kind of self-satisfaction with the way they are already living! Even though they aren't called to live ascetically, they are called to change their lives nevertheless. This is an important message for us in Advent time.

God doesn't necessarily want me to show up at the lab in sackcloth and ashes and start preaching fire and brimstone to all other the grad students. He is calling me, though, to do my job thoroughly, work diligently, and glorify Him in all I do. I pray I may live up to the calling and avoid falling into an attitude of complacency.

Women and the Academic Life

2009-11-20T10:12:00.007-05:00

Last night I went to a small event for women grad students which included a question-and-answer panel with three women faculty members from the College of Engineering. My fellow grad students had a lot of good questions. One student asked, "What do you consider the biggest barrier to advancement for women in academia?" Almost immediately the answer was, "Having children." One of the woman professors had a small child and she explained that although ND has fairly good policies, it is still very stressful and the perception of women professors who choose to have children can sometimes be damaged. There is a policy here where a woman professor can "pause" the tenure clock after having a child, in effect gaining an extra year before the tenure review, which is typically in the 7th year after appointment. Although she was still teaching and doing research, returning to work six weeks (!) after her baby's birth, the perception was that she had an unfair advantage because of the extra year! She explained that she practiced attachment parenting (AP) and breastfed full-time, and that her son never took a bottle. I was thoroughly impressed with her since I think it would be challenging even for a full-time mom to do these things.

I don't think it was a coincidence that neither of the other two women had children (although I am not sure, I don't think they are married either). Academia can be a very stressful environment, and women bear the added burden of home and family responsibilities. It makes me sad that I even have to describe having children as a "burden." As of now I am steadfast in my goal of going into academia, but the more I hear other women talk about it, the more I realize that goal may very well change.

Sometimes I feel as though women like me get it from all sides. From secular colleagues we face the perception of being "unserious" if we choose to prioritize children above work. When I express that I would love to have children, fellow students tend to look askance at me. From traditional and conservative Catholics, we face accusations of being selfish because we choose to work. It really irritates me that in some Catholic circles, the implication is that you are a "bad mother" and "unwomanly" if you have any ambition or desire beyond that of being a SAHM. I've been excoriated several times on Catholic forums for daring to suggest that women can and should work for reasons other than extreme financial necessity. It makes little sense to me that God would give gifts and talents to all people and then expect half of the human race never to use those gifts. I have the utmost respect for SAHMs - my own mother was one - but to have it implied that I am a "bad Catholic" for not wanting to be one is really galling, especially when Church teaching says nothing of the kind.

I also think that Notre Dame can and should do more to support a balanced family life among faculty and students with children. The policy on pausing the tenure clock is a good one, when compared to secular universities, but is that enough to foster a healthy family life as the Church envisions it? I'm thinking no. Being supportive of families requires more than a good maternity leave policy. For example, I was surprised that the day care center on campus does not accept children younger than 2 years. (I know some Catholics think that if you put your kids in day care, you might as well feed them to Moloch, but it's a reality of modern life and it would be best for the very little ones to at least be on campus and in a Catholic environment.) I feel the goal should be, "As a Catholic university, we honor the primacy of the family in the spirit of Catholic teaching" rather than, "Hey, at least we're more family friendly than Harvard or Yale!"

There are no quick and easy answers here. Right now the best I can do is work hard, keep my options open, and be willing to go wherever God leads me, even if it ends up not being the path I would have chosen for myself.

Dappled Things Magazine

2009-10-30T16:30:00.002-04:00

A big thank you to Shrine of the Holy Whapping for pointing me towards this month's issue of Dappled Things. The feature story is written by John C. Wright, one of my very favorite Catholic bloggers. Short, but very, very good. Also check out the interview with Mr. Wright. I've been reading a biography of Tolkien, who was an extraordinary writer and a devout Catholic -- I think in John C. Wright we have another fine writer who understands the role of Myth. This essay, on autism and Catholicism, is also very thought-provoking. Go check it out, all of you!

Olive branch?

2009-09-18T13:35:00.002-04:00

So I've been thinking a bit about this letter, from Fr. Jenkins, which was emailed to Notre Dame students Wednesday. I appreciate the commitment to pro-life action, and I'm glad that Fr. Jenkins will be attending the March for Life. But I can't help thinking - why not last spring? Why not demonstrate this commitment when all eyes were on Notre Dame? Now that the cameras are gone, now that everyone has forgotten the commencement, now he wants to tell us that he's committed to the cause of life? It makes me kind of mad, because the greater public won't see this. They saw what they wanted to see last spring, when ND and its administration blew a giant raspberry at the bishops and the established teaching of the Church and honored the most pro-abortion president this country has ever had. It feels like he's closing the barn door after the horses have already run off.

I know I need to be charitable, and that I should just take it for granted that this is a sincere effort on the part of Fr. Jenkins to demonstrate ND's faithfulness to the teaching of Holy Mother Church. But the cynic in me wonders if it isn't an effort to attract donations from alumni which might have been lost last spring. (Did I also mention that I'm heartily sick of the hackneyed phrase "constructive dialogue?")

I sincerely hope this "task force" Jenkins proposes will be truly effective and not just a token. I know Prof. Cavadini has a reputation for orthodoxy - hopefully he can use his position to effect real change. And I'm delighted that the Women's Care Center was mentioned. They do great work and they really do give the lie to the notion that "pro-lifers don't care about women."

In short - I appreciate the conciliatory gesture and hope pro-life and orthodox organizations will respond in charity to this olive branch. But Fr. Jenkins can't undo what's already done.

Discouraged

2009-09-17T12:56:00.006-04:00

In moving forward with the book club, I emailed our club's contact at Campus Ministry, and he requested to meet with me. I was half expecting to be given a tour of CoMo and handed a sheet of guidelines for reserving rooms on campus, but he actually wanted to talk with me about my idea.

Basically the gist of the conversation is that most efforts to do something like this for grad students have fizzled out, because they don't attract enough interest and students who are interested get pressed for time and quit coming to meetings. It was more than a little discouraging. He was very nice about it but I was really surprised at some of the things he said to me. I mentioned that we are thinking about reading an encyclical and he just sort of smiled and said he didn't think too many people would be interested in that. Really? At a Catholic university nobody wants to study Catholic doctrine? (I guess I shouldn't be too surprised at that considering what the events of last spring revealed about Catholic identity at ND, but still.)

We did throw around some useful ideas but frankly, where he wants to go with it seems a bit far afield of my original thoughts. For example, he thought my group wouldn't be marketable if I put a "Catholic" label on it, and that I should publicize it as a "faith sharing" group for graduate students. Frankly that seems a little deceptive considering my intent for the group. Of course everyone would be welcomed, but I want a group that studies Catholic doctrine and thought, not some vague, nebulous spirituality. And I am not into "faith sharing"...ugh. I don't want to sit around in a circle talking about my personal image of God, I got enough of that in my pre-Cana.

I understand the need to cast a wider net...but I do feel a little discouraged right now. I do want our group to be unabashedly Catholic, and I do want the kind of people who are interested in going deeper with their faith and aren't afraid of an intellectual challenge. I don't want to cater to the lowest common denominator and water things down to make them inoffensive. Are there really so few graduate students on campus who would be interested in a group like that? It makes me a little sad. Time to go back to the drawing board...

Book club

2009-09-10T13:27:00.004-04:00

Here on campus there really isn't much support for graduate student spirituality. In sharp contrast to the undergraduate student body which is 80% Catholic, only 54% of graduate students identify as Catholic, and I would guess that fewer are weekly Mass-goers. Most graduate students I've met are either not Catholic or rather apathetic about their faith. There are masses in the chapel at FOG, as well as a weekly rosary, but the majority of grad students are off-campus like me and there are few activities especially for us. There is one club, the Thomas Aquinas Society, that exists for the Catholic graduate students, but due to the demanding schedule of grad students it isn't always very active. The guys that run it are great - but busy just like the rest of us! It doesn't help that we don't get a whole lot of support from Campus Ministry - but I digress.

TAS had a happy hour at Legends two weeks ago to mark the beginning of the semester, and we were invited to share our ideas and thoughts for activities for the coming year. I suggested the idea of a book club for Catholic reading, which was enthusiastically received by a number of students. Since we have a pretty small group so far, I would like to invite my Domer readers to join up. This semester I will have the participants vote on the book they want to read. We will be choosing between a study of Pope Benedict's encyclical Spe Salvi and the book Life of Christ by Abp. Fulton Sheen.

I am trying to find a place for us to meet, either on or off campus. I'm going to try to contact Campus Ministry about meeting space in CoMo (a building I'm totally unfamiliar with) but eventually I'd like us to meet off-campus to make things a bit more relaxed. I'm in the process of checking out area cafes and coffee shops. This is going to be a busy semester for me - but I'm excited about the book club and hoping it will provide some intellectual and spiritual stimulation.

Summer's ending

2009-08-17T12:41:00.003-04:00

Wow, has it really been more than a month since my last update? Summer is waning fast - classes will start next Tuesday here at Notre Dame. I'm currently trying to prepare an abstract and presentation for a graduate student conference which my department holds at the end of the summer. Right now I have awful writer's block. I tried the old trick of just typing whatever comes to mind until I hit the required number of words - but I'm about a paragraph shy of the needed half-page. So I decided to write a blog entry to attempt to "unblock" the writing part of my brain.

Research has gone tolerably well this summer. I'm taking a former student's project in a completely new direction, so there's been a lot of "hurry up and wait" as I order the needed supplies and learn things by trial and error. Sadly I don't have a whole lot of actual data to present at our conference - but I do have a more definite sense of what I need to do and why I need to do it. That's a pretty important accomplishment in and of itself - and my advisor doesn't seem displeased by it, which is important.

I've decided that I need to start making semester plans with definite goals to accomplish each week. Our advisor had everyone in the group do that this summer and I liked it. I do best in a structured environment, but graduate school can be very unstructured compared to undergrad. It's been a bit of an adjustment realizing that nobody is going to tell me exactly what to do and when it should be done. This semester I have an abstract that needs to be submitted for a conference, as well as my qualifying exam to prepare for. I'm also thinking about applying for an external fellowship, what with money being so tight around our house. So, there are a lot of things on my radar that could sneak up on me if I'm not careful.

My husband is still looking for jobs, and becoming somewhat discouraged, I think. There just isn't much out there, even for someone with his skills and qualifications. The biggest setback is his lack of experience, since he only worked one year at The Place that Shall Not be Named. He was hoping to stay with his former employer until I'm done with my Ph.D. to get that required experience - but obviously that didn't work out. We've talked about him going to grad school here, but his particular area of interest isn't really researched here, and only Ph.D.s are funded. It is certainly an option, though, and I'm hoping he'll get to talk to some of my professors at our conference. I think it would be terrible if no one would give a brilliant, hardworking guy like him a chance.

Since my last post, I found out that my dad's older sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor after experiencing paralysis in her right leg. She has done a round of chemo but the tumor unfortunately is growing. I would appreciate it if you all would pray for her.

The Domestic Arts

2009-07-13T11:53:00.004-04:00

Lately I've been taking up some projects around the house which are more housewifely than I realized at first. I've been teaching myself to sew, and have suddenly found myself the possessor of two sewing machines - one a cheap Overstock special, and the other a 70s-era Singer bought on impulse from the Salvation Army. The old Singer still needs work and I'm refinishing its cabinet since its previous owner was apparently a chainsmoker - but the cheapo machine has been great for learning on.

I've begun to bake my own bread in the interest of saving money. Thanks to a fantastic book (Artisan Bread in 30 Minutes a Day) even this baking-impaired woman can make tasty bread. I also made my own yogurt for the first time yesterday. I got the yogurt maker as a wedding present from my wonderful undergrad advisor, and this was my first opportunity to use it. I had some of the yogurt for breakfast - it was great! And would you believe I'm seriously thinking about learning how to make my own preserves with our awesome local fruit?

These seem like unlikely projects for an engineering grad student, don't they? But I find an immense satisfaction in making useful and tasty things. For me these things harken back to an older time, when women took pride in domesticity and self-reliance was key. I feel that the spirit of "do it yourself" is deeply ingrained into our American culture - if less honored today than it was in an earlier time. I think it is very sad that these skills of "home economics" were scoffed at once women entered the workplace, and seen as incongruous in a world where women and men should play an equal role in the home.

Fortunately I see a trend back towards these domestic skills - but the emphasis is on sustainability, helping the environment and reducing waste. Hey, whatever works, right? But for me the focus is on thrift - and the sheer pleasure of "doing it myself." I believe that whenever we make something useful or beautiful we are participating, in some small way, in God's work of creation. The work of our human hands honors Him.

Felicity and Perpetua

2009-07-09T16:23:00.002-04:00

A fellow member posted this item on CAF about two young women in Iran jailed for their Christian beliefs:

Two Iranian Christian women, Maryam Rustampoor (27) and Marzieh Amirizadeh (30), continue to be held in Evin prison in Iran because of their Christian faith, unfairly labelled as ‘anti-government activists’, because of the hostility of the government towards practising Christians.
In the aftermath of the political turmoil in Iran, they are now in danger of being forgotten. One church leader from Iran said, “With so many hundreds of protestors now in the prison system, Maryam and Marzieh are likely to be forgotten.”

Arrested on March 5 , 2009, the two young women have now been in prison for four months. After being in solitary confinement for three weeks in May and early June, they were then put one small cell together for about two weeks. Then, following the arrests of thousands of protestors after the disputed presidential elections, Marzieh and Maryam were moved to a larger cell to make room for new prisoners. About 600 women were brought Evin prison during the days of the protests. There is still no clarity regarding their case. In one court session in June a judge told them that he would make sure they were both executed as ‘apostates’. Maryam and Marzieh have responded with courage, however, telling the judge to “expedite his sentence.”

It made me think of the martyrs Felicity and Perpetua who suffered together in a Roman prison, Incidentally, today is their feast day. Let us ask their intercession in for these two Iranian women and for all Christians who live where the Faith is persecuted.

Tomorrow is the First Friday of the month!

2009-07-02T13:19:00.002-04:00

I very nearly forgot again! :D I'll see you at the 11:30 AM daily Mass in the Basilica. Blessings!

Who's buried in St. Paul's tomb?

2009-07-01T16:04:00.003-04:00

Archaeological evidence suggests it's probably... St. Paul:

Though the carbon-dating experts knew nothing of their origins, the bone fragments were recovered after a tiny probe was inserted into the tomb which lies in a crypt beneath the Basilica of St Paul outside the Walls in Rome - a church long held to have been built on the site where Paul was buried.
It was only three years ago that the tomb itself was discovered by Vatican archaeologists.
The fact that it was positioned exactly underneath the epigraph Paulo Apostolo Mart (Paul the Apostle and Martyr) at the base of the altar convinced them it was Paul's tomb.
Now backed by the evidence of his carbon-dated bone fragments, the Pope has announced: 'This seems to confirm the unanimous and uncontested tradition that the bone fragments are the mortal remains of the Apostle Paul.'

When I first heard about this on the news, my rather flippant response was, "Well, duh. What have we Catholics been telling you all along?" To which my husband quipped, "Sounds like the old joke about 'who's buried in Grant's Tomb?'" All flippancy and silliness aside, I find this incredibly exciting. George Weigel's excellent Letters to a Young Catholic has a wonderful chapter about the discovery of Peter's tomb under St. Peter's Basilica and how it reinforces our real and tangible sense of our Catholic faith. He may have to add to that chapter in the next edition, because the discovery of Paul's bones is equally amazing.

Matthew at Shrine of the Holy Whapping has more:

One common line of argument I had read suggested the relics had been stolen and dispersed by Saracen pirates sometime during the early Middle Ages, so it is somewhat of a relief to discover they're still down there. More intriguing is the fact the bones, like St. Peter's, were wrapped in purple cloth, suggesting they were treated with reverence and swathed with costly fabric from a very early age.

Yet another reason for me to go on pilgrimage to Rome! God grant that I can make it there some day.

Won't somebody please think of the children?

2009-07-01T15:18:00.003-04:00

Slow blogging again this week...my mom and sisters were here for a visit, which was all too short, and left this morning. I will miss them terribly. It is difficult to be on the opposite side of the country from one's family.

Bleg: Can anyone tell me about good Catholic-based Bible study guides? My sister is engaged to a fine young man, who has been raised in the Baptist tradition but seems interested in Catholicism. While she was here on her visit she asked some great questions about the meaning of various Bible passages, and expressed some interest to me in learning more about Scripture. I can only guess that this interest was sparked by conversations between her and her fiance. I think it would be nice for them both to have a Scripture study that is firmly grounded in Catholic teaching. I'll ask around on Catholic Answers for suggestions as well.

I took them to Chicago for the weekend and while watching TV in the hotel it was difficult to escape constant coverage of Michael Jackson's death. Like many children of the 80s/90s I can remember "Thriller" and his other hits during that time. For her part, my mom and her brothers grew up loving American music and the Jackson Five were part of that as well. For the majority of my life, however, MJ was a grotesque figure, more "famous for being famous" than anything else. His sporadic "comeback" attempts always seemed to simply fizzle out.

But this was hardly intended to be a Michael Jackson memorial post. I have always loathed "celebrity worship" and it seems especially disgusting in this case considering Jackson's apparent pedophilia. No, I feel that the real innocent victims are Michael's children. Conceived by means of a sperm donor and a surrogate mom, deprived of a normal childhood with mother and father, forced to wear masks and veils in public, and now losing the only parent they have known at a young age.

Money can buy anything and in this modern world, that includes children. Their connection with their ersatz dad was not genetic, but financial - he paid to have them brought into this world. How sad is that? To me it seems an act of monstrous selfishness - not unlike the "Octomom" and her actions. I am sure Jackson did not see it as such - rather perceiving the children as something he needed to make his life "complete." But no good can come of it when we reduce persons to objects and means to our own ends. During a discussion over the "custody battle" for Jackson's children on Fox, a commentator observed that "people need to realize children aren't property - you can't will them to someone." I thought that was very telling. I pray Jackson's children will have at least some semblance of a normal, stable life now.

The great feasts of summer, pt. 2: Corpus Christi

2009-06-19T11:21:00.003-04:00

Here at last is my long-overdue post on Corpus Christi. We were at the Cathedral again this past Sunday, but the homily, while good, did not give me as much food for meditation. They had a visiting Holy Cross missionary priest who shared stories about his time in Africa. Inspiring, yes - but the connection to Corpus Christi was somewhat tenuous.

My attention was instead captured by the reading from the Old Testament. Moses tells the Israelites about the Law - and they promise to keep it. Then the oath is sealed in blood:

Then, having sent certain young men of the Israelites
to offer holocausts and sacrifice young bulls
as peace offerings to the LORD,
Moses took half of the blood and put it in large bowls;
the other half he splashed on the altar.
Taking the book of the covenant, he read it aloud to the people,
who answered, "All that the LORD has said, we will heed and do."
Then he took the blood and sprinkled it on the people, saying,
"This is the blood of the covenant
that the LORD has made with you
in accordance with all these words of his."

Powerful stuff, but the tale of a blood sacrifice seems nearly pagan to our modern sensibilities. What to make of this? I think it makes clear the sacramentality of our faith - God making himself present through the material things of this world. Surely an all-powerful God has no need for holocausts or the blood of young bulls. But the Jewish people needed that visible sign of their covenant, that unbreakable oath to their God.

And in the Gospel reading, we go on to the New Covenant - sealed not with the blood of mere animals, but the blood of God's only Son. Again God makes himself present, this time in an unbloody sacrifice of bread and wine - a miracle and mystery beyond our human comprehension.

How was the Passover sacrifice completed? The Jewish families ate the unblemished lamb. This type for Jesus' flesh and blood could not make itself more clear. And so I pray for a greater faith in the Real Presence. "Lord, I believe - help my unbelief!"

First Friday Devotion

2009-06-11T14:03:00.003-04:00

I was looking for information today on the First Friday Devotion, not realizing that the First Friday of June was last week. D'oh! I suppose I will be starting that in July instead. :)

Anyway, Happy to Be Catholic has a nice post here on the First Friday Devotion. I knew it involved going to Mass on consecutive First Fridays, but I didn't realize it was for nine whole months. I don't think I would have that much trouble going to Mass on the First Friday (one of the perks of being at Notre Dame). But the first week of a new month always seems to sneak up on me!

We live in a sad, cruel world. I think we could all stand to make some prayers of reparation. After the stories last year about the Eucharistic desecrations I used to pray in reparation nightly and sadly I've fallen out of that practice. I invite my readers to join me in the devotion of First Fridays.

The great feasts of summer, part 1: Trinity Sunday

2009-06-09T14:16:00.004-04:00

The Easter season has drawn to a close with the feast of Pentecost, but I love the summertime feasts of Trinity Sunday and especially Corpus Christi. Being that Matt and I are on the south side of town now, we were at St. Matthew's Cathedral for Trinity Sunday. They had a wonderful young deacon preaching the homily, and surprise surprise - he incorporated the Theology of the Body into his sermon.

The Theology of the Body - and particularly Christopher West's commentary on it - has come under fire in recent weeks. This was fueled by a somewhat controversial Nightline interview in which West was portrayed as taking John Paul II and Hugh Hefner as heroes. Suddenly it seemed that every Catholic pundit had something to say and everyone wanted to jump on the West-bashing bandwagon - although most bloggers maintained charity. (Three of my favorite editorials on the flap are here: Jimmy Akin's commentary, Prof. David Schindler's criticism and Dr. Janet Smith's response.)

I am certainly not well versed enough in theology to even critique the critiques, but suffice it to say that I do think ToB has gotten somewhat of an unfair bad rap here. There seems to be a misconception that ToB exclusively relates to sex, and perhaps Christopher West is partly responsible for this. I have read The Good News about Sex and Marriage and found it to be solid, frank and open - exactly what is needed to explicate the "hard teachings" of the Church on sexuality. However, I have also listened to a talk of his about marriage and the Eucharist and as I recall, his language there did indeed veer on the side of too explicit. Let us not forget that the marriage of Christ and his Church is mystical, not fleshly! There is a genuine need in our modern world to understand the proper and holy function of sex - but narrowing the focus of ToB to the bedroom at the expense of what it has to say about ALL human love does not do it justice.

But, as the deacon reminded us last Sunday, ToB at its fundamental level is about relationships. God is present as a communion of Persons in the Holy Trinity. Since we are made in His image and likeness, we mirror that communion of persons in our own human relationships. The Hold Spirit proceeds from the love between the Father and the Son; so too, the life-giving love of husband and wife brings forth children. For the first time, I really felt I understood, at least a little bit, why God is Triune. The Trinity will always be a sacred mystery - that does not mean it is wholly inexplicable. Altogether a great homily and I look forward to more.

Side note: Does anyone know if any of the churches in the South Bend area have a Corpus Christi procession? I have a vivid memory of taking part in the Corpus Christi procession at St. Agnes Church in St. Paul, MN a few years back. I would love to do it again.

The death of an abortionist

2009-06-03T11:04:00.004-04:00

I'm sure that by now everyone has heard about the shooting of the infamous abortionist George Tiller. Of course, the media and the pro-abortion partisans have wasted no time in using the actions of an unstable murderer as a club to beat all pro-lifers with. If this man had no qualms about shooting the abortionist in his church in cold blood...doesn't that maybe suggest he didn't really understand the meaning of the word "pro-life?" But, as usual, the peaceful majority are ignored in favor of the lunatic fringe.

Aside from being an evil action, this murder quite possibly could be the worst thing to happen to the pro-life movement in a long time. Think about it - polls showed that a majority of Americans identify themselves as "pro-life" now. Now, not only has the media linked pro-life activism to this murder, the abortionist himself is being glorified as a martyr by NARAL and the like.

Let me be absolutely clear - I did not wish this man's death, but his repentance and conversion. But make no mistake that what Tiller did was also evil. I read somewhere that he claimed to have performed over 60,000 abortions. That alone is chilling enough, but he specialized in late-term abortions. I have plenty of friends who are pro-choice, but I find that even they object to abortion when the baby is viable. Many of the abortions he performed were of viable babies just a few weeks from birth. The news on Tiller's murder is being framed in such a way that this sickening fact is being obscured. The "abortionist = courageous hero" angle is being pushed, and I think it's very possible that this is a deliberate attempt to turn the tide of public opinion towards the pro-abortion side.

The murder suspect should absolutely not be seen as some kind of emblem of the pro-life movement, or vigilante hero. From all accounts he seemed to be a troubled man who had a bone to pick with society in general. Blaming the pro-life movement for his actions would be as foolish as blaming all Muslims for the man who gunned down the two soldiers at the recruiting center in Arkansas yesterday. (It's a reflection on our society that the death of a soldier on American soil isn't getting nearly as much coverage as the death of an abortionist - and very telling that our president finds the death of an abortionist more worthy of comment. He sent out federal marshals to protect abortion clinics - but military recruiting centers are apparently expected to protect themselves.)

In the end, Tiller's murderer succumbed to the same falsehood that Tiller himself believed - that man can play God, taking life away at will. May God have mercy on them - and on us all.

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement." - Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings

I'm back

2009-05-31T00:19:00.003-04:00

My apologies for the insanely long blogging hiatus. My mother-in-law was in town to help us paint our new house over the Commencement weekend, and last weekend we finally got moved in. The place is still covered in boxes. Oddly, I find myself missing the apartment. I suppose it isn't that strange since that was our our first home as a married couple. It will take a while but I hope the "new-to-us" house will feel like home soon.

Commencement is over...no more abortion planes, campus is quiet and empty. Notre Dame is apparently continuing to press trespass charges against the pro-life protesters though. Sometimes I wonder what kind of insane parallel universe I've fallen into where a Catholic university presses charges on pro-life activists. It would be more gracious if they would drop the charges...but hey, they are on the side of President "I Won" so I suppose winning is more important than graciousness. I'm pleased to see that the Thomas More Society has taken up their defense in court. They do good work.

My husband has yet to find work, but he hasn't been looking for very long, either. I'm trying not to worry but it's extremely difficult for me. Here's hoping for better days for everyone.

A house divided

2009-05-18T14:27:00.004-04:00

Dr. McInerny sums it up for us:

The sad fact is that people act contrary to the faith without realizing that that is what they are doing. A heretic chooses the opposite of the faith, but when in the present confusion as to what is in and what is out, heresy is not the appropriate word.
And so, on Sunday, surrounded by priests and all the panoply of Notre Dame, the smiling Caesar, thumb turned down on life, was engulfed in allegedly Catholic applause. Elsewhere on campus, faithful Catholics gathered and sent up prayers of reparation.

I sit here and wonder how it could have come to this. I have read the reports of the commencement and they make my heart ache. I wonder how on earth a man shouting "Abortion is murder" could be greeted with boos at a Catholic university. Have our consciences become so benumbed that Catholic students fail to see the truth in the statement, however it was delivered?

I feel particularly close to Our Lady of Sorrows these days. It always seems that whenever life is troubling and my world seems to be falling down around my ears, I'm drawn toward Mary. I think about Mary holding the wounded body of her Son as I observe the wounded and bleeding Church and feel helpless to do anything. How many more will sell their birthright for a mess of pottage?

For the time will come when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but, following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths. -2 Timothy 4:3-4

Mutual Admiration Society

2009-05-16T21:46:00.004-04:00

South Bend Tribune: ’09 Notre Dame grads choose Jenkins as Senior Class Fellow

Not a surprise. Clearly Jenkins exemplifies the values of the senior class: moral relativism, equivocation, and placing liberal politics above Catholic doctrine. Never mind that Jenkins went blatantly against the directives of the USCCB and Catholic moral principles. Never mind that he sits on the board of an organization which promotes condom distribution and abortion.

This is a New Age and thus a New Morality, to which the majority of the senior class subscribes. There is no longer any such thing as sin - except for the sin of "intolerance." The cardinal virtue for you, seniors, is the virtue of "open-mindedness." The deaths of the unborn pale in comparison to the audacity of protesters who would dare to ruin your graduation. After all, they are just clumps of cells, even if for some mysterious reason their photos make you feel all offended. Yep, it's all about you, you, you. Your professors at Notre Dame have spent four years telling you how special you are - how dare these outsiders suggest that you are wrong. You are special enough to create your own hierarchy of values. You are special enough to completely redefine Catholicism and just ignore the parts that you find inconvenient. In your eyes, Jenkins and Obama are heroes for standing up to the big bad old Catholic Church. (Yeah, we're stickin' it to THE MAN! Woo-hoo!) Who cares what those old men in funny hats have to say?

Congratulations, seniors. You've just slapped your classmates in the face yet again. I hope you're feeling good about yourselves, because I really am feeling awfully bitter about this farce of a Commencement.

Husband has been laid off

2009-05-08T19:02:00.003-04:00

My husband called me about 4:30 PM and told me that he has been laid off today. He will not be going to work any more - that is how his (former) company operates, they tell you that you're laid off and you just leave the same day.

I've done some quick mental calculations and we can make ends meet on my stipend if we tighten our belts. He also gets some severance pay, but that will only last for four months. This is such a frustrating situation to be in. We just bought a house and while the mortgage is less than rent, I worry about what will happen if we need a major repair. Why did they wait until now of all times to terminate him? If they had done this two months ago we could have backed out of the home purchase.

I'm hoping he can find work in the South Bend area but I am not optimistic. I do plan to ask my advisor on the off chance he knows of someone who's hiring mechanical engineers. Some of the professors here have good connections in industry, so you never know.

Blogging may be light for a while since this situation is obviously dominating my sphere of concern. I ask for your prayers for our family.

Can Barack Obama Be Converted on Abortion?

2009-05-05T11:37:00.005-04:00

A new piece in First Things addresses that question. The author looks at passages from The Audacity of Hope about Obama's 2004 Senate run against Alan Keyes. I find it intriguing that Obama admits that Keyes "got under his skin" when he accused Obama of not being Christian in his views on abortion. The still, small voice of conscience, perhaps?

In the end, Fr. Oakes concludes that, no, Barack Obama will probably not ever change his mind on abortion. He's probably right - even if Obama did change his personal views, changing his policy positions would probably mean the end of his career in politics. It's inarguable that the pro-choice position is a fundamental part of the Democratic party platform these days. If Barack Obama woke up one day and announced that he was anti-abortion, we'd see the Obama lovefest change to a hate-fest pretty darn quick. I think he thrives on the adoration of the masses, and I don't see him doing anything to jeopardize his status as Our Beloved Leader anytime soon.

Still, we can but hope. God did after all soften the heart of Pharaoh...I don't doubt Barack Obama is any more hard-hearted.

Done for the semester

2009-05-05T10:15:00.004-04:00

Another semester down...whew. I got back from my Polymers exam about 15 minutes ago. It was pretty tough. ~~I hope I can pull out at least a B. I'll need it with my abysmal grade in Cell Bio.~~ Just got an email from my prof - I have an A- in Polymers! (And there was much rejoicing...yaaaaaaaaaay.)

Of course, this begs the question - how on earth did he grade that exam so fast? Did he even grade the exam? More to the point, do I really care since I have an A? :)

I would really like to go home and sleep, but I need to get a jump on the research I've been putting off for the past two weeks. Ah, the life of a grad student.

ND Response Video

2009-05-04T21:14:00.003-04:00

Well done, ND Response!

Need prayers - again

2009-05-04T16:22:00.003-04:00

I'm in the midst of finals studying - of course I would much rather be blogging, but such is life. I took my Cell Biology exam this morning. I'm not sure how I did on it, but I'm somewhat apathetic considering I would have had to make a 98 or so to get the required B+ in the class. Now I'm studying for my Polymers exam tomorrow morning. This class involves a lot of applied math, much more than I expected when I signed up for the course. It's been very difficult getting back into that "groove" since I took a year off before coming to graduate school. I'm currently slogging through some old homework and tests - hoping and praying for some spark of understanding here. I think I grasp the concept - but can I apply it to tomorrow's exam? That is the Big Question, as always.

In any case, no matter how this ends...it'll be over soon. And hopefully a glorious, productive summer full of research awaits! :)

Marriage and Sacrifice

2009-05-02T23:38:00.002-04:00

We got a real treat tonight at the 5 pm Vigil Mass at the Basilica - Bishop D'Arcy was the presider. There was apparently a bioethics conference on campus today, and it seems the Mass was part of their conference events. Consequently we had a larger crowd than usual at Mass. I noticed a group of religious sisters sitting to our left - all habited, some wearing matching veils and some in mantillas. I was struck by their youthfulness and joyful demeanor. I love seeing sisters in traditional habits, and I love seeing people who are so obviously happy in their vocation.

This Sunday is apparently the World Day of Prayer for Vocations, and Bishop D'Arcy's homily was centered around the topic of vocations. He emphasized the sacrificial aspect of the priesthood and religious life. Jesus loved us enough to sacrifice his life for us and give us his very flesh to eat - how can we not respond by giving our lives to Him? For some this self-giving love is manifested in a calling to the priesthood or religious life. Others are called to give of themselves in married life or single life.

It's pretty obvious that priesthood or religious life calls for radical sacrifice. One only needs to look to the drama present in the Sacrament of Holy Orders or the profession of vows. Picture the men to be ordained lying face-down before the altar, or the nun entering the church in a wedding gown and leaving in a plain, dark habit. The ceremonies themselves make it clear that the new priest, nun or brother is dying to his or her old life.

What is often forgotten, though, is that marriage also calls for sacrifice. I don't think of it as a big, dramatic turning away from the world - but rather as a gradual dying to self. I've often thought that someone of my temperament finds more challenge in married life than in religious life. When I visited the Shrine of the Blessed Sacrament, I thought that the cloistered life might be very appealing. How easy to love Jesus when contemplating him in the Blessed Sacrament! How much more difficult to love him when He presents Himself in a stubborn, irritable spouse! I tend to be self-willed and solitary and I sometimes find it challenging to deal with my husband. Marriage is definitely not just "happily ever after" but requires work and sacrifice. I see it as carrying lots of little crosses for one's spouse, every day.

Perhaps we would see more men called to the priesthood, if they realized that marriage also requires total self-giving. It's not a question of the struggles of priesthood versus the ease of married life - but a question of which way of self-giving one will choose. Loving your wife as Christ loved the Church is a tall order, after all.

Graphic abortion images: coming soon to a campus near us

2009-04-28T17:14:00.006-04:00

A pro-life group, the Center for Bi0-Ethical Reform, has plans to rent billboard trucks and use airplane banners to display graphic abortion photos in the South Bend area. The press release is here.

I'm pretty ticked off that they go out of their way to mock ND Response's efforts and accuse them of "covering up the horrors of abortion." This kind of infighting in the pro-life movement serves no one. ND Response has decided that aborted baby pictures will not change any minds or hearts here, and I tend to agree with them. The Obama supporters are more likely to be angry at the protesters for "ruining graduation" than to actually stop and think about the implications of those violent images. They have hardened their hearts to the reality of abortion. Such pictures will not make them look outside themselves, but rather turn them further inward and convince them of the righteousness of their anger towards all those opposed to Obama's appearance.

And to say that ND pro-lifers are "responsible" for the Obama invite is ludicrous. Why are peaceful, non-violent protests being equated with capitulation? Why do some people insist that anything short of a "scorched-earth" response to the opposition amounts to surrender? Again, ridiculous.

These actions only add fuel to the fire for the people on campus who insist on lumping all pro-lifers together with Randall Terry. I'm sure this will bring on another bushel of letters to the Observer peppered with words like "extremist" and "jihad" and comparing pro-life activists to terrorists. Clearly, pro-lifers at Notre Dame just can't win this one. At times like this it is tempting to be consumed with frustration and just give up. Now is not the time to quit, but to redouble our prayers and try to respond as Christ would.

Edited to add: I saw one of the airplanes with banners as I was going out to grab some dinner. Pretty graphic stuff...I would be upset if I were a parent and my child saw it. It will be interesting to see the reactions if they do this during the day when people are going to and from classes. I will be gobsmacked if the responses are anything but "Those nutcases are at it again." So much for changing minds.

I'm also engaged in a discussion with people on CAF who are all for this approach and accuse the ND students of "not doing enough." I wonder if those people would approve if anti-war protesters used images of dead soldiers to protest the war in Iraq. A soldier hit by an IED probably looks much like the image of the mangled baby I saw. I'm thinking there will be a blog post soon on the power of images and the dignity of the human body...

Don't bite Padre

2009-04-23T16:28:00.003-04:00

Fr. Z offers a catechetical note on receiving Communion on the tongue. The logistics can be a bit intimidating - especially when you have only ever been taught to receive on the hand.

I first received on the tongue when attending the beautiful St. Agnes Church in St. Paul, Minnesota. They did not have the EF Mass at the time I was there (summer of 2006) but the priests there offer the Ordinary Form of the Mass with extraordinary reverence. Masses are said ad orientem and all receive communion kneeling at the altar rail and on the tongue. It was a profoundly moving experience for me. When I kneel to receive, there is a great feeling of reverence and awe that washes over me. Not that I don't feel awed when receiving my Lord in my hand - but I think that posture emphasizes the sacred nature of that moment.

After seeing some people recieving on the tongue at the Basilica, I was emboldened to try it during Holy Week, when they had enough priests that no EMHCs were used and priests were distributing communion to all. Luckily I was able to make my wish to recieve on the tongue understood, and I think I prefer that way over receiving in that hand.

A little intellectual honesty, please

2009-04-23T16:05:00.006-04:00

From the Observer: Jenkins to meet with Obama invite supporters
Yet another slap in the face to pro-life students and ND Response. Although ND Response pretty well botched their chance to meet with Jenkins, I can't help but wonder if Jenkins will permit the press to be present as he is lauded by the Obamaites.

A quote from one member of this group:
"There are a lot of [students] who are more moderate, who say, 'I'm pro-life, ... but you're not going to get anywhere if you just reject people out of hand," he said."

My good man, why not be honest with yourself? Why not just admit that you could not care less about abortion as long as Obama is being honored? Why not admit that the unborn are not people to you? Why not just admit that Obama's abortion policy means nothing to you because he's the first black president and therefore "historic?" I would respect the Obama supporters much more if they completely gave up any pretense of caring about Catholic doctrine and Notre Dame's duty towards that doctrine.

"I'm pro-life, but..." Three little words that are the surest sign that their speaker has not understood in the least what it really means to be pro-life.

I'll say it again because the opposition insists on obfuscating this important fact: Abortion is not a religious issue, this is not a political issue. This is a matter of human rights. It's tragic that so many do not seem to understand this. What are they really teaching them here at Notre Dame?

Dialogue - really?

2009-04-20T13:34:00.004-04:00

In this controversy over inviting Obama to be commencement speaker, the word "dialogue" gets tossed around an awful lot. We should be open-minded, say the Obamaites, and engage in dialogue with the whole world.

Well, the comment about the need for open-mindedness brings to mind a Chesterton quote about the mind being like the mouth - we open it so that we can shut it firmly on something - whether a morsel of food or a truth. But I am more baffled by the constant insistence that inviting the president to speak at commencement and honoring him with a degree is "dialogue." Here's the definition of dialogue, courtesy of Webster's Online.

Note particularly the second definition, which is what I believe these folks are driving at: "a) a conversation between two or more persons b) an exchange of ideas." I really wish some Obama enthusiast would explain to me how a commencement speech amounts to a dialogue. It sounds more like a monologue to me. (We're awfully fond of those at Notre Dame, it seems, whether they are delivered by female sexual organs or presidents with teleprompters.)

Is POTUS actually going to sit down and discuss his views on abortion with pro-life students and professors, and listen to their arguments? Is he going to explain to us why he believes it is just to deprive the unborn of the rights of personhood? Or is he just going to show up, pay lip service to "diversity of thought" and "freedom of religion", and leave with his pro-choice agenda completely unchallenged by his hosts at Notre Dame?

I am sure the last scenario will be what actually happens. But the Obama enthusiasts will continue to insist that a monologue is actually a "dialogue" so that they can frame the opposition as simply being closed-minded and against academic freedom. See how much easier it is to debate when you can simply make words mean whatever you want?

To quote Inigo Montoya, "That word you are using, I do not think it means what you think it means."

Bishop Latino joins bishops in opposition to Obama honor at ND

2009-04-20T13:16:00.002-04:00

A seminarian friend brought this to my attention via Facebook: Bishop Joseph Latino makes statement on invitation to President Obama

I'm happy to see the bishop of my former diocese chiming in. Although I have moved out of state, I still receive the Mississippi Catholic. From the letters to the editor, I could see that Catholics in the diocese of Jackson were troubled by this. It goes to show how far-reaching the influence of Notre Dame is. And in spite of those who insist that the controversy over this invitation is a matter for the "Notre Dame family" alone, it shows that Our Lady's University is the common patrimony of all American Catholics. Notre Dame has great symbolic value for many who have never even set foot on campus.

I hope to find the complete text of the letter and post it for you here.

Traditions

2009-04-17T12:30:00.002-04:00

After reading this letter, and the comic in today's Observer, I have come to the conclusion that Notre Dame students are passionately attached to tradition. Not Catholic tradition, though...just any football weekend or spring scrimmage weekend tradition that involves binge drinking.

Honor Obama with a degree? "Totally, we should be, like, open minded and tolerant. Abortion is, like, not really a big deal. We have no idea why the Church is so uptight about it. They need to get with the times and stuff. Whatever. And Obama is so AWESOME!!!1111eleven YES WE CAN!!!!!1111eleventy"

Take away our gigantic party were we can get drunk and hook up? "OUTRAGE!!! ur killin our tradishun down with THE MAN"

Can you tell I'm feeling just a bit cynical today in spite of all this gorgeous weather?

(I know this is definitely not representative of all Notre Dame students! But I am seriously disturbed by how much drinking seems to be mandatory for a good time, even for the more serious students I've met. It's not like people didn't drink at my alma mater. But I only knew a handful of hardcore "partiers" who went out and intentionally got drunk on a regular basis. The really ridiculous partying was confined to the frats and sororities.)

"Jesus, take pity on me!"

2009-04-16T10:50:00.002-04:00

This is several years old, but was recently reposted on a Catholic forum I frequent: Terrible Crosses to Bear

Crucifixes sold in the gift shop of St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York were found to have been produced in Chinese sweatshops under horrible conditions. The complete report from the National Labor Council is heart-wrenching. The workers, some as young as 15, subsist on a meager vegetable broth and the occasional "meat" dish. They live in crowded, filthy dorms. They are forced to work overtime for an hourly wage that wouldn't even buy us a can of soda in the U.S. After a mandatory deduction for their dorms and food, their gross pay is 9 cents an hour. They work up to 108 hours in a week. After working a 19-hour shift, one worker cried, "Jesus, take pity on me! I'm going to die of exhaustion!"

The supplier of these crucifixes is a member of the Association of Christian Retail, but there is nothing Christian about the conditions these workers are subjected to. What's more, they are making religious items, supposedly objects of devotion. What must they think of the supposed Christians who buy these crucifixes at markups of 1000%? Christ shares in their suffering - but trapped in what amounts to slavery, they will probably never hear His message.

I have avoided buying religious items made in China due to their government's repressive policies toward Christianity and their policy of forced abortions. This has only strengthened my resolve to stay away from Chinese-made products. Importers of religious goods need to take responsibility for their supply chain and stop claiming ignorance of their suppliers' actions. Maybe in some cases they are willfully ignorant. After all, it's easier not to know, isn't it?

Not Yours to Give

2009-04-15T12:35:00.003-04:00

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about American folk hero Davy Crockett? Do you picture a frontiersman in a coonskin cap, or maybe the hero of the Alamo? What about fiscal responsibility? It seems like a non-sequitur at first, but Crockett was a respected Representative from Tennessee as well as the stuff of frontier folklore. This snippet from his life has much to teach us about the way our elected officials should treat taxpayers' money. It's long, but please read the whole thing:
Not Yours to Give, from The Life of David Crockett

A number of things are striking about this story:

Crockett actually listened to and respected the opinions of his constituents. He knew he could be easily replaced if he lost the peoples' trust.
His constituents are literate and informed, in spite of living in the "backwoods" of Tennessee. They keep an eye on what their representatives are doing in Washington. They care about the way they are governed. They have read the Constitution and understand the limits it places on Congress. Can we say as much about ourselves?
Crockett realized he was wrong and admitted it. When was the last time you caught a politician doing that?
Crockett came to understand his responsibility with regards to taxpayer money. He realized that he was only a steward and did not have the freedom to distribute money at will from the public treasury. He clearly makes the distinction between private charity and government aid.

How our nation has changed - and not necessarily for the better. Food for thought on Tax Day.

Kristin Lavransdatter

2009-04-14T19:20:00.003-04:00

Reprinted from Crisis Magazine, an excellent biographical sketch of the Norwegian Catholic writer Sigrid Undset.

Most of us here in the United States have probably never heard of Sigrid Undset. I remember it was my grandfather who first introduced me to Kristin Lavransdatter, her brilliant trilogy of novels set in medieval Norway. My father's father was and is a very taciturn, stern man. He was the child of Norwegian immigrants and proud of his heritage. He told me once that my name in Norwegian would be "Kristin." Maybe he liked it because it reminded him of Kristin Lavransdatter. Like Sigrid Undset, he was a convert to Catholicism (something I didn't know until very recently.) His conversion from Lutheranism was probably precipitated by his marriage to my devout Irish Catholic grandmother, in an era when "mixed marriages" were not well looked upon. Whatever the circumstances, he soon became as devout a Catholic as she (somewhat to the dismay of his Lutheran relatives). He probably found much to relate to in the conversion story of Sigrid Undset.

As a child, I was a voracious reader. (I still am!) One summer while we were visiting my grandparents, Granddad suggested I read The Mistress of Husaby (more properly called The Wife as that is the title Undset gave it, translation notwithstanding). Unfortunately the translation was the older one by Charles Archer, and while I was reading well above my grade level at the age of 10, I wasn't quite precocious enough to manage a book chock-full of archaic language like "I trow." Not having read the first book, I also didn't quite understand why Kristin, the heroine of the novel, was constantly depressed and thought that her child would be born deformed. Needless to say I didn't make it all the way through the book.

However, in college something sparked the memory of the Kristin Lavransdatter stories. Maybe it was a blog article about Sigrid Undset, the Catholic author. I logged on to Amazon, ordered the trilogy (in a newer, more accessible translation), and was instantly hooked. Somehow I found I could relate well to my supposed namesake. At twenty I could understand the guilt that sin leaves behind it much better than I could as a child. Kristin is the apple of her father Lavrans' eye - yet she defies him to marry the man she loves - or thinks she loves.

Don't be deceived by the seemingly chick-lit plot I've described so far - this is not light reading. In contrast to today's more popular romances, sin has consequences in this story. Kristin's defiance of her parents, her society, and God has its price. She gets her heart's desire - yet she is somehow never happy with Erlend. He is not the perfect knight she believed him to be, but a weak, fallen man. Although he loves her in his own way, he constantly betrays and disappoints her. However, Undset shows us how Erlend's betrayals great and small shape her into an iron-willed woman and mother. And when Kristin is most in need, it is her former fiance' Simon who keeps faith with her in the most unexpected way.

Perhaps what I like best is that no character in this trilogy is a cardboard cutout. Simon, unassuming at first, soon reveals himself to be one of the most complex characters in the story. His life is inextricably and painfully bound up with Kristin's. The revelation of the secret burden of Kristin's mother Ragnfrid gives us insight into how regret and guilt have shaped her life - as they do her daughter's.

The end of The Cross, the last novel in the trilogy, is perhaps its most powerful moment. Kristin recognizes her utter weakness and fallibility - yet she comes to understand that she has served God in her life. She has been an unmindful, disobedient servant perhaps - but a servant nevertheless.

I have read Kristin Lavransdatter again and again, and every time I read it I find something new in it that I never noticed before. I have yet to read any other novel that has been so enriching to my spiritual life. It is both catholic and Catholic in its appeal. I highly recommend it to everyone.

Bishop Bruskewitz's letter to Fr. Jenkins

2009-04-14T08:47:00.000-04:00

Via WDTPRS:

Reverend and dear Father Jenkins,

Permit me to add my name as well to the long list of Bishops of the Catholic Church who are utterly appalled at your dedication to immorality and wrong-doing represented by your support for the obscenity called “The Vagina Monologues” and your absolute indifference to the murderous abortion program and beliefs of this President of the United States. The fact that you have some sort of past connection with the State of Nebraska makes it all the more painful that the Catholic people here have to see your betrayal of the moral teachings of the Catholic Church.

I can assure you of my prayers for your conversion, and for the conversion of your formerly Catholic University. I am

Sincerely yours in Christ Jesus,

The Most Reverend Fabian W. Bruskewitz
Bishop of Lincoln

Wow! The good bishop certainly pulls no punches. I'm not sure what the reference to Nebraska is all about, but I'm sure Fr. Jenkins knows. I'm also not sure how I feel about the tone of this letter, as I greatly admired Bishop D'Arcy's gentler response. But it is refreshing to hear a bishop call a spade a spade, isn't it?

I hereby give Bishop Bruskewitz the St. Nicholas Award - named after St. Nicholas who reportedly punched the heretic Arius on the nose at a council. This letter is the epistolary version of a punch in the nose, for sure.

A moment of doubt

2009-04-14T02:03:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling a little anxious tonight...well, really anxious as a matter of fact. I found out today that a midterm in a class where I've been floundering somewhat, did not have the expected good result. It's so frustrating to really, honestly try your best and then feel that all your work was for nothing. Even if I get a 100 on the next exam, I won't have a high enough grade to get credit (a B for those of us in graduate school). This is pretty mortifying because it's an undergraduate level class, in a subject where I considered myself well grounded until now.

I talked to my advisor and while I'm sure he isn't pleased, I can tell he doesn't think it's the end of the world. I'm grateful for that because I would be crushed if I thought he was disappointed in me. He encouraged me to go talk to the professor to see what I can do. I'm not sure it will help at this late date, and besides, this prof was described to me as "soulless" by a friend. (Ha ha.) But at least I can try to figure out what I'm doing wrong.

This is just the latest in a series of moments of FUD - fear, uncertainty and doubt. I know everyone has them but I seem to be especially plagued ever since I got to graduate school. I constantly question if this is where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing. Is this my real vocation? Am I really supposed to spend five more years in school? And after I get my degree...then what? God, is this how I'm supposed to be serving you? Would I be better off serving you in motherhood now instead of a few years down the road? How much can I really help people while ensconced in the ivory tower of academia?

One thing I do know: God, for some reason, never sends me those convenient lightning bolts to knock me off my high horse. His guidance to me is much subtler. I hardly ever recognize His handiwork until the moment has passed. I'm praying now for the courage to do His will...whatever that may be.

Notre Dame theology prof says being pro-life is too political

2009-04-12T01:27:00.000-04:00

Well, I said I'd hold off until Monday - but I couldn't pass this one up, from the South Bend Tribune:

ND's pro-life center raises faculty concern

Apparently Dr. Porter is concerned that being actively pro-life is too "political" for Notre Dame. This is yet another example of how the focus has been taken off the human rights aspect of pro-life work. As Mr. Cassidy said in his talk at the ND Response rally - protecting life in the womb cannot be seen as just a political or religious issue, but must be viewed in the wider context of human rights. I believe the attempt to frame the rights of the unborn as a solely political issue is a deliberate attempt by the pro-choice side to marginalize the pro-life argument.

I'm not sure what Dr. Porter's concern is - she seems to think that pro-life work can only manifest itself in political activism. Apparently the only pro-lifers she's ever met are of Randall Terry's ilk. Political work is important, but it is only one aspect of pro-life advocacy. Perhaps she has never talked to any of the volunteers at the Women's Care Center. I think someone really ought to make Dr. Porter aware of the wonderful work that the staffers at these crisis pregnancy centers do. That's something Notre Dame should be proud to support, in my opinion.

In my experience, and the experiences of many of my colleagues, it is already very difficult to get undergraduates to discuss abortion in any kind of open-minded and balanced way. They are afraid to explore their own questions and concerns on this extremely difficult subject — afraid of what their peers will think, and perhaps afraid of losing the good opinion of their professors as well. Once the university gives its official approval to an anti-abortion agenda, I suspect that any kind of real academic exploration of this question will become almost impossible.

A very odd comment indeed. I would tend to think that most Notre Dame students are either pro-choice or apathetic, given that so many support Obama. If students really are afraid of ostracism for having pro-choice views - well, all I can say is that they have a taste of what it's like to be a conservative student at a public university. Growing a backbone is also part of the learning experience. Public universities often claim to give equal time to all points of view - but in practice, liberalism prevails and anyone who is pro-life is automatically viewed as anti-woman and "hateful." At least Notre Dame is honest about giving pride of place to a particular ideology - it's a Catholic school for pete's sake!

I never cease to be amazed at faculty and students who exhibit shock and horror at the fact that a Catholic university upholds and actively promotes Catholic values. Is it not enough that we have a multitude of public and private universities in this country which uphold the prevailing values of secularism and moral relativism? Must we also turn Notre Dame into one of them too?

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T01:18:00.001-04:00

A happy and blessed Easter to all of you!

I have some things to post about from Saturday's South Bend Tribune - but it can wait until Monday. There will be time enough to talk, discuss and debate about everything. For now, let us rest and give thanks to God. Christ is risen - Alleluia!

Holy Thursday

2009-04-09T21:33:00.000-04:00

"This is how you are to eat it:
with your loins girt, sandals on your feet and your staff in hand,
you shall eat like those who are in flight.
It is the Passover of the LORD." - Exodus 11:11

The Israelites were already dressed for their journey out of Egypt when they ate the Passover lamb. They were strangers in a strange land - not just strangers, but slaves. The Egyptians had held them in bondage - but God would deliver them and bring them home.

Thinking about the flight from Egypt makes me wonder if we realize that we are also strangers in a strange land. This world is not our home, as Jesus reminds us so often in the Gospels. We are made to yearn for heaven. In the words of St. Augustine, "God, Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee."

How often do we think about our final destination, our heavenly home? Are we content to stay in Egypt, in the pleasant chains of bondage to this life? Or do we gird up our loins like the Israelites, and set out on our journey, eager to reach the Promised Land?

Observer Roundup

2009-04-08T10:56:00.000-04:00

As fellow Domeblogger Dan noted, today's Observer provides plenty of food for thought. First up is the interview with radical pro-life activist Randall Terry, he of the bloody baby dolls and aborted baby pictures. He goes out of his way to chastise ND Response as "not equal to the task before them," for which I am profoundly grateful, since it is now crystal clear that Terry is not here at ND Response's behest and that ND Response does not condone his tactics. While I believe that graphic pictures of abortion have their place, we are not going to change any minds by trying to "wreck" graduation for the seniors. Unfortunately many see Terry's tactics as emblematic of the pro-life movement. We need debate, not sensation - and above all, we need to respond in a Christlike manner. ND Response is on the right track.

Next is a letter from an alumnus bemoaning the fact that the students protesting Obama's appearance are "isolating themselves from the outside world." A common complaint among our detractors - one of the students from the article I posted yesterday basically said "stop complaining, America is looking at us funny." To which I reply - since when are Christians supposed to care what the rest of the world thinks? Jesus warns us repeatedly that if we follow him, we can expect ridicule and ostracism. Doing the right thing frequently gets you criticized by the secular majority. What part of "in the world, but not of it" did not come through there?

It's true that just because we are going counter to society, it does not mean that we are following Christ - something important to remember. But this alum seems to completely misunderstand the reason for the protests - not to disengage from the world, but to engage with it on a Catholic Christian basis. He mistakes students' unwillingness to conform to the world for a misguided hermetic isolation. Unfortunate, really.

Prof. Freddoso's speech from the prayer rally

2009-04-08T01:29:00.000-04:00

For those who are interested, Dawn Eden has the complete text of Professor Alfred Freddoso's speech from Sunday's prayer rally at her blog: Prof. Freddoso addresses rally:
Notre Dame protest is about President Obama's actions & intentions, not merely his beliefs

Go check it out - it's worth a read. (And my apologies to Prof. Freddoso, whom I initially referred to by his son's name in my post on the rally! I've corrected my error. Somehow I don't think he would mind too much :) )

Personhood, Race and the Unborn

2009-04-07T13:24:00.000-04:00

From the Observer:
Group starts petition in support of Obama

"The College Democrats, the NAACP, the Black Students Association, La Alianza, the First Class Steppers and the Hispanic alumni group MEChA have given their support to the petition drive, according to Miller."
[...]
"'Being a Catholic isn't based on one particular thing and I just think that more tolerance is needed in this community,' said Tipton."

It's good to see reasonable, peaceful action from the other side (other than a few people simply showing up and shouting at speakers during ND Response rallies.) But I really wish that this issue would not be turned into an issue of race. I know I don't care whether Barack Obama is black, white, green or purple. I do care about his policies and how they affect the born AND unborn. I judge people on their actions, not on their skin color, because that's what I've always been taught to do.

1,452 black babies die from abortion every day in this country. And Obama seems not to have a problem with this. I wonder how many of these students know about Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, and her love affair with the eugenics movement which sought to keep blacks and other "undesirables" from having "too many" children.

It wasn't so long ago in our nation that black people were not considered persons, either. (Remember the Three-Fifths Compromise and the Dred Scott decision from your high school history classes?) Even after emancipation the repressive Jim Crow laws kept black Americans from exercising the full rights of citizenship. Yes, we have come a long way, and I can understand that the first black president is a powerful symbol for all that has been accomplished. Is it really something to celebrate, though, if that president denies the rights of personhood to another powerless, voiceless group - the unborn?

But for some strange reason, our opposition to Obama is being characterized as intolerance by our fellow students. I'd argue that denying the personhood of the unborn is about as intolerant as it gets.

Welcome

2009-04-07T12:10:00.001-04:00

Greetings to all who may have found my blog via Google! I was surprised to get comments, but a commenter told me that she found Seat of Wisdom by Googling the ND Response prayer rally.

I have to give a little disclaimer - I am not involved in ND Response in any way, other than giving them my support in prayer and at public events such as Sunday's prayer rally. I feel that this is very much the undergrads' battle, since it is their commencement at which Obama is speaking. They are doing a fine job. I encourage all of you to visit the ND Response website if you want to help. God bless.

ND Response Prayer Rally/Protest

2009-04-05T16:03:00.000-04:00

Well, I have returned from the prayer rally and sufficiently thawed my fingers to post about it! :) (No pictures, unfortunately - I left my camera at the house. Maybe next time.)

When I arrived at the Main Building around 2 pm, there was a sizable crowd already gathering. The atmosphere was hushed, but excited. Students were gathered around tables, writing on the red envelopes to be sent to Fr. Jenkins to give to President Obama. A Right to Life member handed me a carnation, and I learned that we would walk down to the Grotto after the rally to lay the flowers in front of the statue of Our Lady.

The prayer rally was kicked off by an invocation from a priest (whose name escapes me, sadly). Most appropriately, he began with a verse from Psalm 127: "Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who build it." This verse is so dear to me as it embodies my approach to life and work - to lift it up in praise to God. I think Father Sorin must have known this verse as he strove to raise up this university. Now we are all wondering whether Fr. Jenkins remembers that this university should glorify God.

Chris, the chairman of ND Response, then introduced the keynote speaker, Harold Cassidy, a prominent pro-life lawyer. In his speech, Mr. Cassidy refuted the arguments used by Catholic politicians to justify their support of legal abortion. He made the case that the right to life is based not in a particular faith, but in science and law - indeed, the right to life is written into the founding documents of our nation. He shared some stories from his legal work with post-abortive women - stories that eloquently illustrated the harm that abortion causes women. He told of one woman who had survived a suicide attempt brought on by post-abortive depression - the scars of her attempt covered her entire forearm.

It was at this point that we had a bit of a disturbance. I was surprised, actually, to not see any counter-protesters, or at least mockers or scoffers. Given that there are dorms around the quad in front of the Main Building, I half expected to see some foolishness precipitated by people hanging out the windows. Maybe the gray weather and threatening rain kept them away.

But, I did notice during Mr. Cassidy's speech a group of two or three girls on the edge of the crowd, on the east side of the quad. Their body language suggested they were itching for a confrontation. Right about when he started to talk about the harm caused to women by abortion, I heard one girl begin to shout something. He simply raised his voice and kept talking -but she was apparently determined to be heard, as she started yelling for people to "get out of her face." I couldn't really tell what she was trying to say, other than "this isn't about abortion" and something about Obama. She seemed very angry, and frankly, a little scary. Mr. Cassidy asked that she be left alone - I couldn't see what was happening, but I guess someone was attempting to get her to move off. He continued on with his speech but the girl kept shouting indistinctly until a camera moved her way. The chance to air her grievances to the media apparently placated her and we didn't hear any more for the rest of the rally.

After Mr. Cassidy's speech, we all prayed the rosary together as the rain began to fall. The rain came harder and I thought that the girl and her friends had given up and left. I looked up, though, and saw her watching the student leaders pray the rosary with a sneer on her face. I thought for half a second that she would take advantage of the prayer time to rush the podium - but we were undisturbed.

I've never prayed the rosary with such a big group before - they estimated the crowd at about 400 people. It was an amazing, incredible feeling of unity. When the rain got heavier, a sympathetic undergrad - a complete stranger - moved over to share her umbrella.

After the rosary, Prof. Alfred Freddoso spoke for a few moments. He said that campus security would not allow him to drive into campus, even with his faculty tag - drawing a murmur of disgust from the crowd. He told us that he was here as a sign of solidarity, as a representative of the tiny minority of faculty who also opposed the invitation to Obama. His words were absolutely energizing - I wish all those on the blogs who are ready to write off every Notre Dame professor as an utter heretic could have heard him.

Finally, the rally drew to a close and we walked down to the Grotto with our carnations. I said a Hail Mary as the rain continued to fall. My feet and hands were completely numb, but my heart was warm. No, all is not lost here at Our Lady's University.

Now, let's pray that God will bless me with awesome productivity this evening to make up for those two hours I probably should have been studying/working on my term paper! ;) I don't at all regret going, though. Some things are just too important to miss.

Notre Dame students speak out

2009-04-02T22:17:00.000-04:00

Via fellow Domeblogger Mary Liz:
Notre Dame Response

This is the official site for news on what the pro-life and orthodox Catholic groups at Notre Dame are doing to protest Obama's commencement appearance. I am very impressed with how fast this appeared, and the media savvy that the student leaders have shown. Some of the group's members have been interviewed on the national news, including a classmate of mine (go Emily!). I have signed up for the email updates.

The first official protest event will be a prayer rally on Palm Sunday (this upcoming Sunday - Lent has really flown by!). Students and supporters will be gathering in front of the Basilica after the noon Mass, and the event officially starts at 2 pm. I plan to take a break from term paper writing and join them in prayer. Hopefully I will see some familiar faces from my TOB class and elsewhere.

I hope for a good turnout - the media has really been focusing on the excitement of the Notre Dame students over Obama's visit, and some of the student quotes have been appalling. The opposition may be a minority - but let's be a vocal, significant, and prayerful minority.

Gluttony

2009-03-26T15:12:00.000-04:00

Amidst the furious letters of protest over Obama giving the commencement speech, I saw this news item in the Observer:

Michigan Ballpark to offer up 4,800 calorie burgers

The West Michigan Whitecaps, a minor league baseball team, will be offering up major league cholesterol, carbohydrates and calories in an enormous hamburger being added to the menu this year at the Fifth Third Ballpark.

The 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips, all on an 8-inch sesame-seed bun. That's a lot of dough!

The Grand Rapids Press reports that anyone who eats the entire 4,800-calorie behemoth in one sitting will receive a special T-shirt. Saner fans can divide it up with a pizza cutter and share.

I'm glad to hear that it is meant to be shared, but it got me thinking - why on earth does anyone need a 4800 calorie hamburger? I'm sure there are people on this earth who don't get that many calories in a week. This seems to be the latest in a trend of "competitive eating." The Food Network actually has an entire show dedicated to ridiculously huge food. My husband thinks it's funny, but I find it repulsive - and yes, sinful.

You don't really hear gluttony preached about from the pulpit these days. Maybe it's because of the "fattening of America." But it's a sin I've become more aware of in myself as of late. It's not so much about weight loss as it is about our fair share. Do we really need to eat an entire days' worth of calories in one meal? Are we honoring our bodies by shoveling huge amounts of meat into our mouths? My conscience says no.

I have been moderately successful this Lent in resisting overeating, due in part to my efforts to lose weight. Sometimes I'll make the effort to purposefully leave some food on my plate at the end of a meal. I usually find that I'm pretty full anyway, but I'm also torn between my desire not to waste food and my desire to grow in self-control.

My personal Waterloo, though, is what I call "foodie-ism." Yes, I am a foodie. I love exotic fruit out of season, fresh herbs in winter, imported prosciutto, and fancy dried mushrooms that cost $8.99 an ounce. I would totally drink wine with every meal if I had the chance. However, I have come to the uncomfortable realization that an excessive love of delicacies is also a form of gluttony. My next goal is to make a conscious attempt to simplify the meals I cook for myself and use fewer "fancy" ingredients. I hope it will make a real difference in my spiritual life as well as our household budget.

Notre Dame Shame

2009-03-23T22:34:00.001-04:00

Ever since the news broke that President Obama has accepted Notre Dame's invitation to be this year's commencement speaker, I have been vainly trying to collect my thoughts for a blog post. My first response was utter revulsion. This man stands against so much that the Catholic Church stands for, and a supposedly Catholic university is going to invite him to speak and honor him with a degree? The details have been discussed and debated ad infinitum on many Catholic blogs more illustrious than mine, so I will limit my blog post to my personal response. (National Review Online has a pretty awesome commentator roundup, and American Papist is posting updates regularly.)

I found out Saturday night and it was with a heavy heart that I attended Mass at the Basilica Sunday. I'll admit it - I was resentful. Having seen so many hopeful signs of Notre Dame's reclamation of its Catholic identity, I felt very much betrayed. When I decided to come here, my rather cynical, non-Catholic husband warned me that I would expect too much of Notre Dame and be disappointed. I hate to say it, but he was right in this instance. This is just too much.

I also have to share my husband's response when I told him the news - "Wait, this guy is pro...well, basically all the things you Catholics are against, and Notre Dame invites him to give the commencement speech? ...are they stupid or something?" Well, what he lacks in charity he certainly makes up for in clarity. It's sad when a non-Catholic can see so plainly what some lifelong Catholics choose to blind themselves to.

I look at Notre Dame and I see a microcosm of American Catholicism. Some are still firmly aboard the Barque of Peter...some are clinging to the sides, and others have jumped ship completely. The student reactions run the gamut from delight to apathy to anger. It saddens me to see the divisions. It saddens me still more to realize how many Catholic students don't fully understand the teachings of their own church. It seems that being strongly pro-life is looked on as being somehow "extremist."

Much is being made of Obama's commitment to "social justice," but if I understand it correctly, the root of social justice is the worth and value of all people as children of God. How can you proclaim the value of all people and then say that it is OK to kill the unborn? How can someone be committed to social justice and then admit that there is an entire class of people unworthy of legal protection? I wish people wouldn't behave as if being pro-life and pro-social justice were mutually exclusive. I'd posit that they are mutually inclusive. Let's also not forget that Obama recently made it legal for embryos to be created solely for research purposes. How can anyone who believes that life begins at conception, not feel a chill when thinking of the implications of that?

Add to all the above Obama's recent moves to bring down conscience protections for Catholic medical workers, and there is absolutely no good reason why a Catholic university should honor this man. The university has spouted some feel-good pablum about "diversity" and "dialogue," to which I can only respond - what dialogue? It is his speech - he will determine the message, not the university. Obama will come, give his speech, and be fawned over by adoring students and professors. I somehow doubt he will find time in his so-busy schedule to debate those he believes to be "extremists." He professes to be open minded, but it's all so many empty words. He is firmly wedded to the pro-choice cause. For Notre Dame to try to spin this invitation as some kind of conversion attempt - well, pearls before swine, anyone? Yes, let's debate him, but this is not the forum for debate. Yes, let's pray for his conversion, but let's not honor him in a misguided attempt to have him change his ways. If anything, the message he will be receiving is "Keep doing what you're doing - Catholic America loves you just the way you are!"

Right now, I'm reminded that I am an outsider, too. I admire the school spirit of the students, but I think it is not right when that love of school trumps all else to become clannishness. The attitude I am picking up is, "So what about Catholic teaching? Notre Dame can do what it likes!" (I overheard a girl in LaFortune complaining about the letters of protest in the Observer - "They need to just get over it!" Indeed - millions of dead unborn and we should just "get over it." Behold your next generation of leaders, Catholic America.) Even the more orthodox-minded students are bristling about the intervention of outside groups like the Cardinal Newman Society. The vibe that I'm getting is, "We can handle this ourselves - and everyone with no stake in Notre Dame should butt out." The Graduate School has its own separate graduation, so there isn't really the same furor amongst the graduate students. In any case, most of them probably wish they could be at the commencement!

I want to offer my support, protest...anything right now, really. But I get the sense that this is not my battle. The Catholic student groups here have been blessed with outspoken, articulate student leaders, and they are currently trying to formulate a response. Although I'm angry as any Catholic should be, I don't have the same sort of attachment to Notre Dame that these students do. I suppose all I can really do is offer my prayers and support. And once I'm coherent again, I will write a letter to Father Jenkins. I know it won't do much good, but I feel that I have to at least try.

I will leave you with this excellent article by Dr. Ralph McInerny - Is Obama Worth a Mass?. He is retiring this year and will be sadly missed at Notre Dame. He is a strong voice for orthodoxy on campus.

Happy Friday the 13th!

2009-02-13T13:13:00.000-05:00

Greetings to my readers (all two of you!) I hope you are having a pleasant Friday the 13th and avoiding bad luck. As you can see I've been staying very busy this semester. I've intended to post so many times (with regards to the flap over Bp. Williamson and media irresponsibility, as well as some particularly inane letters in the Observer) but my academic duties have sapped my blogging muse. I have a stack of about 100 lab reports to grade, and more on the way.

My husband and I have a quiet Valentine's Day planned. We are planning a weekend trip to Chicago at some later date as our "treat" to each other. Otherwise, we will be making homemade truffles and house-hunting. I have yet to come up with a tasty dinner idea for Valentine's Day - must get to work on that!

Also on Saturday is the Edith Stein Project at Notre Dame. There are some excellent talks on the schedule for this afternoon, but sadly my class schedule (and our weekly departmental seminar) prevent me from attending them. However, I am very much looking forward to the Saturday morning talk by Dr. Janet Smith. She is well known as a lecturer on Catholic sexual ethics and particularly on the topic of contraception. I will be sure to post about the talks I attend.

Our hope is in Christ

2009-01-21T22:57:00.000-05:00

In lieu of watching the inauguration Tuesday, I went to daily Mass at the Basilica. It was the feast day of Blessed Basil Moreau, founder of the Congregation of Holy Cross. The Congregation's motto is "Spes Unica," referring to the cross of Christ, our only hope. Thus, the readings chosen for the day emphasized hope. I couldn't help but think of the false "hope" promised by our new president in contrast to the hope that Christ alone can give us. I remember most clearly the psalm response: "Blessed are they who hope in the Lord."

And the gospel reading:
Jesus summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them,
"Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake
and that of the Gospel will save it.
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life? (Mark 8:34-37)

What profit, indeed?

I pray for all those who keep faith in this difficult time. It seems we are now called to "take up our cross" and follow Christ.

I pray most especially for those who will be at the March for Life in Washington, D.C. tomorrow. So many people hailed the inauguration as a "historic moment" and a cause to rejoice, but there is no joy in my heart - largely because I know this president has no desire to protect the helpless unborn. I don't understand how a man who expresses compassion for the plight of the downtrodden can just write off the weakest members of our society. The March for Life will serve as a powerful witness that this new presidency is not a cause for celebration for all.

I'm sure there are many Obama supporters who have stayed behind after the inauguration to "counter-protest." I have seen pictures of the March on Catholic blogs before, and the pro-life marchers are assaulted with many ugly words and signs. I pray they will have the strength to offer only gentleness in spite of this diabolical attack and stand as a sign of contradiction.

I will also continue to pray that Obama will experience a change of heart on the topic of abortion, and realize that the unborn are human beings who need protection. It's a stretch, but our God is a God of miracles.

Bread and circuses

2009-01-19T16:45:00.000-05:00

"Bread and circuses" (or Bread and games) (from Latin: panem et circenses) is an ancient Roman metaphor for people choosing food and fun over freedom. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bread_and_circuses)

While the economy tumbles around our ears, and many Americans worry about whether they will have a job tomorrow, our future President enjoys himself as he is feted by movie stars and pop singers:
'Overwhelming emotion' at star-studded Obama inaugural concert

As galling as it is to have Hollywood elites patronizingly rewarding us with the glory of their presence because we happened to elect their favorite guy, this is just the tip of the iceberg. The media is utterly and completely saturated with coverage of every aspect of the inauguration. Obama's face is everywhere - on t-shirts, buttons, even defacing an American flag. Chairman Mao would envy the omniprescence and fervor of Obama's cult of personality. The $170 million cost of this Obama-worship, in a time when our government is taking on trillions in debt, doesn't make a single person flinch, it seems. Does it ever occur to anyone that this kind of adulation should not be given to any mortal man? So many have turned away from the Cross of Christ, our true hope, for the false "hope" of a man-made messiah. It seems they don't care about reality - only about good entertainment and a "stimulus check." I can't help but think of that woman who claimed that Obama would pay her mortgage. I bet she is going to be sorely disappointed when her Messiah doesn't measure up.

If my children ask me what I did at this moment of history, I hope I can say, "I did not want to mortgage your future to save my present. No, I did not vote for that man. Americans deserved better than mere bread and circuses. "

Fun at the discount book store

2009-01-03T01:28:00.001-05:00

New Year greetings to all! I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas - I know my husband and I enjoyed our first Christmas together. We attended our very first Midnight Mass at the Basilica, braving ice and snow. I have been holding on to Christmas for as long as possible - I don't want to put away my Christmas decorations and music. But now it is almost Epiphany and the start of a new year. My prayers for wisdom in the last post were apparently answered - I ended up with 2 A's and a B in my classes, which puts me on track to take qualifying exams in the spring. Deo gratias! Of course, I have to keep up this semester, but I think it will not be quite as difficult.

There is a giant discount bookstore here in South Bend (well, technically, it's in Mishawaka, where all the shopping is. I joke that Mishawaka is an ancient Potawatomi word meaning "land of strip malls.") I drive by it frequently and keep meaning to drop in. Today I finally went in there! It was a little discouraging at first to walk in and see a long table full of romance novels, but there were a few gems. I found that they actually had a few good Catholic books. I had gone in there looking for "light reading" but I ended up with mostly spiritual reading.

Here is my haul:

God's Choice by George Weigel. A book about the end of John Paul II's papacy and the election of Benedict XVI. I like Weigel's writing as I think he really has a handle on the state of the Catholic Church today. (His biography of John Paul II, Witness to Hope, is a must-read.) I have been reading this all evening as my husband was watching bowl games on TV. It brought back a lot of memories of that spring and summer of 2005. Looking back, that was the year when I really began to get serious about my faith. That summer I was an REU student at Purdue and had a memorable encounter with a Catholic professor there. I think I will write about that more sometime since it was so pivotal for me. But for now I will move on to...

Fire Within by Fr. Thomas Dubay. This book is a summary of the spirituality of Sts. Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. I have been drawn to St. Teresa for a long time and really want to get to know her and her way of prayer better. Fr. Dubay is an excellent writer but sometimes hard to digest. I am a voracious reader but I find his books difficult to finish (kind of like Pope Benedict's). I think this will end up being my spiritual reading for Lent.

Salt of the Earth by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (now Benedict XVI!). This one has been on my to-buy list for a while. It is based on an interview that journalist Peter Seewald did with Cardinal Ratzinger. The Cardinal talks about his life and about the challenges the Church is facing at the turn of the new century. This should be a good one.

(I also saw Karl Keating's Fundamentalism and Catholicism while at the bookstore. I didn't think I needed it at the time, since I don't run into as many Fundamentalists here as I did back home, but I might go back and get that one. I like Keating's writing style and it should help me bone up on Catholic apologetics.)

And just for some fun, Cheaper by the Dozen. The mother in the story, Lillian Moller Gilbreth, is one of my secular "heroes", being a prominent woman engineer of the 20th century and a mother of 12 children, to boot. I had already read a great biography of her (Making Time) and decided to supplement it with the more famous memoir written by two of her children. This book should not be confused with the silly Steve Martin movie of a few years back! I doubt we could find such a positive portrayal of a large family these days. Large families seem to be stereotyped as chaotic, poverty-stricken, and suffering from parental neglect. Sad that children are no longer seen as blessings. But I'm wandering.

Not from the discount book store, but another recent read was My Life with the Saints by Fr. James Martin, SJ. I had seen good reviews of this on some Catholic blogs so I decided to pick it up. This is a warm, personal story about how Fr. Martin "met" his special saints and how they influenced his life. The saints range from Aloysius Gonzaga to Joan of Arc to Dorothy Day and everyone in between. The first story about the Saint Jude statuette had me in stitches! I could relate to the book since I've encountered my favorite saints in very similar, seemingly random ways. I highly recommend this book.

I look forward to reading all these books and sharing my thoughts with you!

The Great Catholicity of Catholic Colleges Debate

2008-12-15T23:05:00.000-05:00

About.com might be the last place you'd expect to find good, orthodox Catholicism, but I really enjoy Scott Richert's posts. The weekly emails from catholicism.about.com bring good articles to my attention, this being one of them: Are Catholic Colleges Really Catholic?

The main focus of the blog post is a new survey of current and former students at Catholic colleges by the Cardinal Newman Society, with some very sad results. According to the survey, 60% of these students believe abortion should be legal, 60% believed premarital sex was not a sin, 57% supported gay "marriage" and 57% said the experience of attending a Catholic college or university had no effect on their participation in Mass and the sacrament of reconciliation. 1 in 5 students knew another student who had or paid for an abortion. The survey reported that “Most respondents say that the experience of attending a Catholic institution made no difference in their support for the Catholic Church or its teaching or their participation in Catholic Sacraments."

The numbers look pretty bleak, but I wanted to know whether the whole story was being told. The article did not say whether the students surveyed identified as Catholic. Clicking through to the Newman Society's web page, I found the PDF of the survey report. According to the report, 58% of students surveyed were Catholic in college and are still Catholic now. (Sadly, not many non-Catholics were inspired to convert by their college experience - only 1% were not Catholic in college and are Catholic now.) The survey identified "sacramentally active" Catholics as those who attended Mass at least once weekly and Confession at least once yearly. Just 48% percent of the survey takers fell into this category (vs. the 65% who identified as Catholic while in college).

Did being an "active" Catholic make a difference in attitudes and behavior? Not really - the sacramentally active Catholics were only slightly less likely to have gotten drunk or had premarital sex in college, and were just as likely to have viewed pornography. They were only slightly more likely to agree with Church teaching. A full third of the sacramentally active Catholics did not believe in the Real Presence in the Eucharist!

Did the study turn out to be just as depressing as I thought it would be? Well...yes. There was a shockingly large number of active Catholics who did not know or disagreed with Church teaching. If we Catholics don't take our doctrine seriously, how do we expect anyone else to, really? But are Catholic colleges to blame for this state of affairs? I'd argue that by the time students get to college, their views are well-formed. It's hard to meet an age group more opinionated - and more steeped in the morally relativistic culture - than high school and college students. When it comes to forming Catholic values, the seeds are planted long before students ever reach college. I wonder how many of these students come from homes where Mass is a once-weekly event that doesn't really impact our lives at all. From the way even the practicing Catholic students seemed to compartmentalize their faith, I'd say a lot of them do.

I also wonder how much of this is a crisis of catechesis vs. a crisis of faith. I used to think, smugly, that "they just don't KNOW" Catholic doctrine. But watching what happened with the election, and so many Catholics voting for Obama, I think the reality is that young Catholics know church doctrine and just don't care. The encounter with Christ is what seems to be missing here. The good news is, we young Catholics can do something about that. A Catholic college gives us the unique opportunity to wear our Catholicism on our sleeve, so to speak. Bringing Christ to our peers is an important mission for serious Catholics on campus. How can we do a better job?

Prayers

2008-12-14T18:08:00.000-05:00

Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, pray for me! I surely need a spirit of wisdom and right judgement this week. Finals week has arrived with startling rapidity. It is hard to believe I have already been here at ND for an entire semester. My two final project presentations are over - one went well, the other not so well, but they're over. Thankfully only one of my classes has an in-class final, but that is tomorrow!

It's hard to know exactly what my final grades will be because of all the various and sundry factors that play into that magic number. I hope to at least have the GPA of 3.5 that I need to take the qualifying exam next semester.

What is at stake

2008-11-05T07:38:00.000-05:00

Well, it's happened. The people have spoken, and Barack Obama has just been elected president of the United States. But this is not a political post, although I'll pause to note that never before have so many trusted a man who has been so untested on the national stage. After watching the election last night, I'm trying to move through the fear, anger and frustration to figure out just what this means for me and for other Catholics.

Many others are speculating on the ramifications of the policies Obama and the majority-Democrat Congress will enact. Economic and military policy aside, I predict a lifting of all state restrictions on abortion, national legalization of gay "marriage" and other measures designed to demoralize conservative Christians. The effect on the culture will be to make us even more unfashionable and socially unacceptable than we already are. Already we're being characterized as "bitter," "hateful", and "racist" over our stubborn refusal to celebrate this win, and Day 1 post-election has barely begun. There will be no need to muzzle free speech with laws when social pressure makes dissenting speech unacceptable. The laws will also be seriously detrimental to Catholic charitable works. Already Catholic charities in some states have shuttered their adoption operations rather than adopt out children to gay couples. A law mandating that all hospitals and doctors provide abortion may do the same to Catholic hospitals. Our country will be the poorer for it, but sadly few will notice.

Our response to this coming darkness cannot be anything other than to shine even brighter. We can't afford not to! Remember that Christianity was born into an equally dark time and stood in sharp contrast to the excesses of Pagan Rome. I hope we won't see Christians vs. lions again anytime soon, but I think it's going to affect every one of us profoundly. We may be at risk of losing our careers or our friends if we speak out about our beliefs. We need to not be afraid to call evil, evil even if we are accused falsely of bigotry and hatred. The best witness we can provide is a life well lived in the service of Christ, fearlessly proclaiming him in deeds and words.

I have a sense that personal sacrifice is going to be required of each one of us. In the near future I will be trying to discern what I am being called to do. In the meantime, may God help us as we face what is ahead.

Render unto Caesar

2008-10-21T00:23:00.000-04:00

I just got back from a fun weekend in Chicago with my husband. We went to Sunday Mass at Holy Name Cathedral there, which is a lovely church indeed. This past Sunday's readings provided a lot of food for thought in these days right before the election. I learned a while ago that there is generally a connection between the Old Testament, Epistle and Gospel readings at Mass. Sometimes the connection can be hard to tease out...it was late last night when I finally thought about this.

The first reading is from Isaiah (45:1, 4-6), which is one of the prophetic books of the Bible. The prophet Isaiah talks about God giving authority to Cyrus, one of the great kings of ancient Persia. Cyrus was the king who released the Jews from Babylon and permitted them to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the Temple. Although Cyrus was not a Jew, God was able to act through him for His own purposes.

In the Gospel reading (Mt 22:15-21), the Pharisees are trying to test Jesus. They ask him if it is lawful to pay the census tax to Caesar. (I love how they try to flatter Jesus at the beginning, saying he always speaks truthfully. They were right, but didn't know it!) Then Jesus holds up the Roman coin and says, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and give to God what is God's." What does this mean? It would seem that Jesus is telling us to recognize that Caesar would have no earthly authority unless God permitted it. This links up to the Old Testament reading - even pagan kings can be instruments of God's purpose.

What does this mean for us today? We are in the middle of an election season that has been very heated and intense. I will be honest and say that I do not want Barack Obama to win. His positions on abortion are completely unacceptable to me, as they should be for any Catholic. If he carries out his promise to sign the Freedom of Choice Act into law, he will deal a serious legal blow to the pro-life movement by effectively lifting all state restrictions on abortion. This is an infringement on the states' authority, not to mention gravely immoral. I am one of very few people at my workplace who supports McCain. He is not a perfect candidate by any means, but he recognizes that we have to defend the defenseless.

I and other McCain supporters have not given up yet, but things are looking bleak. The nation's love affair with Barack Obama continues strong. No revelation about his true character or the ideology of his close friends will deter his fans. I have heard him referred to as our "savior" and "our only hope," terms that are indecent to use about any mere man. I hold fast to Psalm 146:3 "Put not your trust in princes, in mere mortals powerless to save." Barack Obama is just a man, he is by no means the Second Coming!

BUT, at the same time, I have to recognize that if he IS elected - somehow, that is God-willed and part of God's plan. Perhaps it will be a wake-up call for a nation that has been sluggish and complacent in defending the rights of the innocent and helpless. If Obama is elected, I won't be happy, but I will acknowledge his authority. I will pray for God to give him strength and wisdom - and I have faith that God who softened the heart of Pharaoh can do the same for Obama.

I am going to pray and fast before the election, not that my chosen candidate will win, but that God's will be done. Never doubt the power of prayer to work miracles.

Anti-contraception != anti-science

2008-09-03T16:57:00.000-04:00

I've found in my very brief time here that Notre Dame, despite its identity as a Catholic school, has a student body that is much like that of any other college. The student paper is as much a rag as the paper at my alma mater. Sorry, college newspapers - it isn't that you never have any good writing, it's that looking for it is like finding a diamond in a dung heap. It's generally the same predictable, pseudo-progressive navel-gazing everywhere - although I do have to give the Observer credit for publishing articles with real news in them. That IS a step up from my alma mater.

So, it was quite a pleasant surprise to find this article, An Anniversary Worth Remembering, in Tuesday's Observer. The author is emeritus professor Charles Rice, clearly a man of learning and strong Catholic faith. I read it with pleasure, but also with a sinking sense of dread. No college paper could publish an article like this without a stream of indignant letters to the editor crying, "Up with the Pill, down with the Pope!"

And sure enough, today's paper brought the all-too-predictable respons e. I'll leave the endless glorifications of the Pill to others to address, but this sarcastic paragraph in particular caught my eye: "But fear not! For those married couples who choose to express their love for one another without the burden of raising a family of 15 or so children, the Professor offers the superb counsel of Paul VI: "take into account the natural rhythms [of a woman's reproductive cycle] to regulate birth without offending the moral principles." That's some top notch advice from someone who obviously is not a medical professional."

Clearly Brendan, for all his lamentation of how Notre Dame's "spiritual traditions [...] corrode science" has a very poor understanding of female reproductive physiology and is totally ignorant of the modern methods of Natural Family Planning, or NFP. NFP is not the rhythm method of old, which was somewhat but not completely effective. NFP is based on observing a woman's signs of fertility - mucus, basal body temperature, and cervical positions. Depending on the method the woman might observe mucus only or all of the signs. His implication that natural fertility awareness is unscientific doesn't hold up to scrutiny. The method I use, the Billings Ovulation Method, was formulated by Drs. John and Evelyn Billings and tested in multiple scientific trials. They were "medical professionals" (very highly regarded in their field, as a matter of fact) so their credentials ought to be good enough for Brendan, right? A quick search for "billings ovulation method" in PubMed yields numerous peer-reviewed articles on the effectiveness of the method. Here's a study that was done in China, where women are highly motivated to avoid due to the government's repressive one-child policy. This is a similar study done in India among poor urban women - the use effectiveness rate of 97% is impressive to say the least, and runs counter to the popular belief that natural methods "don't work."

And this also should not be left unaddressed: "The closing paragraphs of Rice's argument are a dishonest discussion of abortion, in a manner which is framed to cause the reader to interpret contraception and abortion to be one in the same. They are not. Contraception prevents pregnancy; abortion terminates it. Each of the two topics deserve their own discussion."

On the contrary, abortion and contraception are two halves of the same coin. Arguments for their legitimacy are based on the fundamental assumption that man is free to control and manipulate new life into or out of being in any way he chooses. Leaving that aside, the reader is also clearly unaware that the Pill has multiple modes of action. The first, and most familiar, is to prevent ovulation. The Pill essentially tricks the woman's body into a state of pseudo-pregnancy, stopping the release of an egg from the ovaries. The second mode of action is to thin the lining of the uterus, making it hostile to the fertilized egg. Should a lucky little egg manage to slip through and somehow be fertilized, the small new human would be unable to attach to the uterine lining and would not survive. Effectively, this is a very early abortion.

Lastly, I find it quite appropriate that the letter has been written by a man, since men are the primary beneficiaries of the sexual revolution. Of course, he extols the benefits to women, but the reader is left wondering if his vehement defense of the Pill is due to the way it allows him to enjoy strings-free sex.

Hello Notre Dame

2008-09-03T16:40:00.000-04:00

Wow, what a long time since my last post! It is now the second week of classes at Notre Dame and things are finally starting to fall into place. I still feel a bit lost here though. It sounds strange because this is a Catholic school but I haven't really found a group of Catholic buddies to socialize with. I think about Starkville and St. Joe and I miss it so much! I suppose in the Bible Belt we Catholics have to band together. The undergrads here are mostly Catholic, of course, but I believe most grad students are not. And of course, other grad students are the group I'm interacting with the most. Campus Ministry offers so many activities but they all look overwhelmingly undergraduate-focused. I'm not averse to socializing with undergrads, but truthfully I'm at a very different place in my life, being married and such.

I did sign up for a class that's being offered by the diocese on the Theology of the Body. I'm really looking forward to it. On one hand, I worry that it will take up too much time since it meets for 2 hours a week for six weeks. I am on campus most of the day and try to limit activities during the evening so I can spend time with Matt. On the other hand, I think it is a great opportunity to learn more about TOB and meet some like-minded folks. It is a shame there isn't anything like that on campus. (In fact, there was actually a letter in the student paper today extolling the wonders of contraception, which I mean to blog about shortly.)

I know there must be some serious, practicing Catholics around here...I'm just not sure where to find them. It's not like I can really go up to random people after Mass at the Basilica and say, "Hi, I noticed you took communion on the tongue, want to be friends?" Ugh, no, won't be doing that any time soon. Notre Dame so far seems like any other college, just with "Catholic frosting." I find the social climate to be very different from the South in that people are less willing to share their faith. I think maybe I need to hit up the Extraordinary Form Mass on campus. I don't really consider myself a traditionalist but that might at least help with the "meeting other practicing Catholics" part.

So my prayer these days is for God to guide me to make new friends who can support me spiritually. I hope it happens soon!

Vocations: Marriage and Priesthood

2008-04-21T23:52:00.001-04:00

My diocese, like many in the US, is undergoing a serious shortage of priests. The problem is particularly acute here because Catholics are only a tiny percentage of the population, and the diocese is geographically large. Oftentimes one overworked pastor in his 60s or 70s is driving around to 3 or 4 far-flung churches on a weekend to say Mass. I know I have been very, very lucky while I lived in this state to always be in a place where Mass was available every weekend. Even during Fr. Jerry's illness, before Fr. John came to Starkville, the Bishop kindly sent priests up from Jackson so we could have Mass every weekend. Other churches have to make do with much less.

There has been a series of articles in the diocesan paper about the bishop's proposed solutions, which include appointing lay ecclesial ministers to lead communion services at the rural churches. While many people are unhappy at these changes, I think the bishop is acting prudently overall. Unfortunately much ink has been spilled in letters to the editor about how the Catholic Church should allow married priests. Fortunately, there's been no call for "womenpriests" which shows our good people haven't entirely gone off the deep end. But I feel there is a fundamental misunderstanding of the vocations crisis here. A college classmate of mine of mine who is currently in the seminary wrote this letter last week: "May I make the proposition that our current "crisis" is not one of a lack of religious vocations but is instead a lack of understanding and respect for the sacrament of holy matrimony, as is set out in sacred Scripture, the catechism, and Vatican II, to name only a few places. Am I correct in saying if we were to promote a better view of the sacrament of holy matrimony, beginning at home, then we might have more priests and religious in our diocese?"

My answer to my friend is: YES! Undoubtedly the breakdown of marriage contributes to a lack of priestly vocations. The home is the "domestic Church." Fr. Lenin in his homily last Sunday pointed out that priests do not grow on trees. Priests come from strong Catholic homes with a good mother and father. The challenge to us laypeople called to the married life is to build the kind of homes that nurture future priests and religious. That is a HUGE challenge in today's world, which leads me to my next point.

It seems like the writers all these letters see abolishing priestly celibacy as a "quick fix" solution. They seemingly envision a world in which thousands of married men would stampede to the seminaries once Rome lifted the rule of priestly celibacy. I don't see it that way. The big challenge to vocations today is the "me-centered" approach to life. It is all about ME, and what I want in life. God's will is only something for me to pay attention to when it happens to coincide with mine. This is not the kind of attitude that breeds a lot of priestly vocations. This is also not an attitude that fosters strong marriages! We forget we are called to give everything to God, to give Jesus nothing less than our whole lives. It is easy to relate this total self-giving to the priestly vocation. We must not forget that total self-giving is the call of married people too!

One can see that marriage and the priesthood are two distinct vacations. Could a person follow both? I really think it would be exceedingly difficult for a man to do both jobs well. A priest belongs to his parishioners and they to him. They are his spiritual children, the souls for whom he has responsibility. Not only does he administer the Sacraments, he must be teacher, father, and friend to all. He must respond with love to the mean-spirited and firmly correct the rebellious. He must be there for them at all hours of the day or night. He may have days off, but he never stops being a priest. And in addition to this, he must not neglect his own spiritual life, and must faithfully pray his Daily Office. Whew!

The job of a husband and father is equally all-consuming. Surely we remember from our childhoods how "Daddy is the strongest man in the world." In some sense, he always is. A good husband pursues honest work to provide for his children. He is also teacher, father and friend to his little flock. He is the head of his domestic Church. His model is St. Joseph, the protector of the Virgin and the Child Jesus. In addition to the duties of his life in the world, he has duties in the home. He teaches his children how to pray. He is a tender and gallant lover to his wife. That is really a lot to live up to!

The Sacrament of Holy Orders makes an indelible mark on a priest's soul. Because he has been made a priest, he has been changed. So too with the man who receives the Sacrament of Matrimony - he has been changed. Both have been given the graces needed to live out their vocations. Both husband and priest must be willing to give all of themselves to their vocation. Divided hearts can never be fully given. Protestant ministers are usually married, but many of them can tell you it is very difficult to juggle the obligations of a family with the obligations of ministry. The Catholic priesthood is quite different from Protestant ministry as well. They share some of the same duties, true, but the names say it all. A priest is not the same thing as a minister and cannot be treated as such. Again, priesthood is not a day job, but something that a man IS.

We should avoid looking on our priests as "Sacrament dispensing machines" or looking on priesthood as being just another job that they do. That does them no favors. We have to recognize the need for them to give themselves over wholeheartedly. To say that celibacy is too difficult for men to handle is a slap in the face to the men in the seminary who have chosen it freely. We have to remember that married life can be equally difficult and challenging. At the same time, marriage is very good. If marriage were not good, celibacy would not be the beautiful sacrifice that it is. What kind of person would offer God something that was bad or inferior? Instead we always offer him the most precious things we have.

I would never choose a man for marriage who was half-hearted about marrying me! In the same way, I don't want a priest who is afraid to make sacrifices. Let him serve the Church in some other way, if he can. But what this Church needs is strong, faithful priests - not priests who waver, or priests who are unwilling to give Christ all.

Saying "just let them marry" does not strike at the root of the problem - a culture and home life that does not breed vocations. I believe we must do two things to see real results. The first is - pray for vocations. The second is - catechize our children. Are married couples living out their vocation as beautiful examples for their children? Are they teaching their children about the Catholic Faith? Are Catholic school and parish religious education programs faithful to Catholic doctrine, or are they stuffing the children full of meaningless feel-good fluff? It is disturbing to me how many people spend years in religious education classes without learning anything of substance. People who do not understand the basic tenets of their faith are hardly likely to enter the priesthood or religious life.

At the bottom of it all is this: We are called to be the Salt of the Earth, as Pope Benedict so beautifully reminded us in his sermon at Yankee Stadium. We must bring Christ to the world. Priests do not grow on trees, it's true. But I believe that the lives of married people, lived vibrantly for Christ, can nurture the seeds of a priestly vocation in their sons. This is the responsibility each one of us bears. I know it's one I can only live up to with the help of the Holy Spirit.

"But we need priests NOW!" Yes. There is no denying this. There is absolutely no glossing over the hardship and the hunger for the Eucharist experienced by so many in this state. Our foreign-born priests are a blessing in this. Of course we would all like to see more native-born priests, but the Irish priests have a long history in this diocese. I feel the priests from Mexico are a real blessing and have so much to teach us. The Bishop is making efforts to recruit more seminarians for the Diocese from Mexico with the help of Fr. Lenin, and I think this is commendable.

Oftentimes it is hard to pray and wait. If the rule of priestly celibacy is ever to be changed, I trust the Pope and bishops to act with the guidance of the Holy Spirit for the betterment of the Church. In the meantime, we should go to the source to solve the vocations issue, instead of rushing to implement a "solution" that may not turn out to be a solution at all.

First Post

2008-03-31T22:17:00.000-04:00

I've wanted to start this blog for some time. I've had a Livejournal since junior high, but I increasingly feel the need for a different place for less "personal" posting. My thoughts and reflections on Catholic issues and my spiritual life feel a little out of place on Livejournal - and although I shouldn't, I feel shy about sharing them with my Livejournal friends.

So, why a blog? Because I am about to embark on an entirely new phase of my life, and I need a new place to reflect on it all. In the span of three months, I will marry, move to a new state, and begin a Ph.D. program. I'm feeling both exhilarated and overwhelmed.

I should also mention that I will be attending Notre Dame. I am a lifelong Catholic but have never attended Catholic school. I've been a proud public school brat all my life! I am serious about my faith and I want to think and reflect on what it means to be a faithful Catholic at Notre Dame. It seems that Catholics are in the minority in the graduate student population. I enjoyed my visit to ND this weekend, but I was left wondering if Catholicism, like football mania, is regarded by grad students to be an annoying undergraduate quirk. I find myself looking for a community at Notre Dame, a place to fit in. I am asking myself what God has in mind for me in directing my path towards Notre Dame. This blog will be a place for me to collect my thoughts as I tease out those answers.

Expect posting to be light for the next few months. Things should really start to pick up post-wedding and especially once I start graduate school.